Thursday, March 30, 2006


A very good friend of mine in Singapore, Eileen, suggested that I explored all possible options before deciding on the operation. Right now, I'm speechless because so far, everything seems to lead to the big major 'O'. It may be possible to have an alternative (gamma knife radiosurgery), but then again, will it be doable in my predicament? I may travel to Singapore to get my third opinion...possibly maybe. The meningioma is certainly not located conveniently even for 'advanced' craniotomy so would radiosurgery work without a chance of a reoccurrence? That is what worries me. I pray to God that I needn't go through this again.

I'm trying really hard not to take notice of other gloomy things that surround a major op like this and putting all my faith in the Lord. Family and friends have been really supportive of me and I feel overjoyed to have this moral support as it is important that you are psychologically well in order to tackle the problems ahead post-surgery. Playing online checkers on MSN Messenger surely helped a bit, thanks to my dearest Michelle!

Paged my manager a few hours ago and told her that I should be back on Friday. I hope my return won't cause a havoc of people asking silly, mundane questions like "How's the operation?", "When are you going to get the surgery done?". I'm stressed out just counting the days, mate! I probably agree with Eileen that it would be a better option to just do some freelance work after surgery...maybe to help my Dad in his business or just pick-up some vocational skills for a year. Plus, I could always volunteer myself to do some work for my church on Sunday. I think it's fitting that I concentrate more on my spiritual upliftment now than ever.

"I will not die but live,
and will proclaim what the Lord has done.
The Lord has chastened my severely,
but He has not given me over to death." - Psalms 118:17-18

I'll continue to meditate and pray on my newfound faith in the Lord. Amen!

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