Wednesday, October 05, 2005

The one about a backstabbing and lying relative.

Music: Depeche Mode - Macrovision (click to download)

I used to believe (till about 3 hours ago) that family members were people that you confided in. I thought that our worst fears and anguish would never seep through the cracks if it's all kept in the family.

That one person that I used to respect, regard highly and love turned out to be just another one of those backstabbing acquaintances that you'd have in your life. I didn't want to believe it at first but some factual information relayed by mouth was enough for me to feel rage against. I guess it's apparent that to some people, family moral support doesn't exist in the 'Idiot's Guidebook'

I have felt in the past 3 months, humiliated indirectly by certain sinful action(s) done by a family member. I am however trying to stay positive about the future but often disgruntled when it's clearly hard to accomplish. Putting up a mask of happiness is the hardest thing to do. I've had one of two best friends leave for Singapore and the small circle of friends I used to have had already dispersed since 2004; which has been made worse by the chain reaction of what's happened 2-3 months ago.

I used to put up a thick front and strong sense of pride about this particular person; protecting the family name and the sense of injustice I 'thought' had happened. I can't believe that in this case, I've actually let family come first over friends. I regret that action and now, I just don't know whether I'll ever come to terms to forgive that person anymore.

This blog will continue to run and I promise to try and retain a more jovial mood next time around.

I thank my visitors for reading and keep your chin up. Brendan will be back in no time.

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