Friday, September 02, 2005

Top 10 Reasons To Buy Pirated CDs

This comes in a little late but I thought it was good enough to share.

Condensed and altered from the lowyat message boards!

1. Free black plastic bag.
You can't get those cool black coloured bags anywhere. The ones sold outside are too big and they are meant for the rubbish bins collected by the city council!

2. Family bonding.
Every weekend, when you go to local mall, you can see little kids running to the pirated DVD/DVD shops to select their favourite Pokemon cartoon DVD. And then mommy will come along to find her favourite Teresa Teng DVD. Next comes big sister to select her Avril Lavigne live DVD. And lastly, big bro and daddy searching for the latest movies ... and try to eye for some you-know-what DVD. Anyway, the whole idea is, the pirated DVD shop is like a place for weekend family reunion. When was the last time you saw daddy buying little Billy a DVD in HMV?

3. Cinema sucks!
This is relevant for Malaysian cinema audiences. When you reach the cinema, you'll have to line up for 15 minutes before it's your turn to get the ticket. By then, they tell you tickets have already run out, no thanks to motherfuckers who've utilized the 'call-a-movie' service to reserve tickets beforehand. So you buy tickets for the next show and have to wait another 3 hours. When the time comes, the ticket usher stops you from bringing your fish fillets and home-made double patty beef burger into the hall. So you're forced to line up another 10 minutes in the snack bar. By then, you're already late for the show. Lights have already been switched off by the time you get in. fall down in between the seats just as you were trying to nudge your way through and the jocks sitting in the back laughs at you. Next, the cinema bores you with 15 minutes of brain-washing (Nokia adverts and such). Frankly speaking, I don't know why the Malaysian government decided to ban 'triple x' DVDs when all the beer commercials in the cinema feature sluts dancing around. Later, your handphone rings and everyone boos you. At last, the show ends but you'll need to line-up to get through the smelly exit doors. After 30 minutes, you notice that your handphone is lost. The only thing good about cinemas is the fact that you can throw sunflower seeds on the floor.

4. Customer Friendly Sellers.
Buying DVDs from the stall is like dining in a luxury restaurant. First, those blond hair sellers will greet you with 'hey handsome boy'. It's now time to order the meal. If you know what to order, they will search the title for you. But if you're undecided, these fellas will suggest some meals for you. Strangely, all movies (according to them) are nice to watch. When you've finished, here comes the main course. The rectangular box containing all the finest artistic international stuff.(porn?). And you can bargain too! But when you buy DVDs from HMV, the shop assistants will stand few meters away from you, with their arms tied and eyes alert, thinking that you're another shoplifter.

5. 'Belilah barang buatan Malaysia' / 'Buy locally made goods'
The title says it all. No need to say more.

6. Ratings? Ratings my ass!
You go to the movies...while watching the love-making scene in a romantic film....just as the lead actor and actress are about to kiss...all of a sudden, the screen goes into matrix mode. And then it changes to some dull scene. Doesn't this sound familiar? Say thank you to our Censorship Board for helping us remove the "naughty" parts even when it's already been rated PG18! You never get this when you buy pirated CDs.

7. Lank cheap!
6 years ago, piracy was a minority because of the original CD pricing and contents. 3 years ago, they increased original CD prices by 70% and say it's because of import duties, tax and other crap. While at the same time, the pirated CD prices drop by 50% - 70%. Customers would prefer to buy from a sale right?

8. Educational purposes.
Piracy helps students to learn new programs at a reduced price cost. If every student is going to spend RM800 just to buy an Adobe Photoshop software, then Malaysia would lag behind in the computer graphics industry. So in the long run, Malaysia's economic status becomes better with more knowledgeable citizens.

9. Improving GDP.
As people are willing to spend money on pirated CDs but not that willing to buy original cds, they are circulating the money and helping to increase the GDP.

10. First in entertainment!
Pirated DVDs offer the latest movies, even before they are shown in the U.S.! Compare this to original DVDs, whereby you'd have to wait for a few months after the movie is first released.

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