ntsocialism.

Early bird?

2009-07-30T00:14:00.002+08:00

I have decided to leave for surgery earlier than originally scheduled after careful consideration of what consequences delays could bring. I depart later for HUKM for expedited action. Even so, it's safe to say that the confirmed date for my third major surgery in 11 months will fall on the 7th of August 2009 but if I'm lucky (or not), I'll get an earlier date to relieve myself from the misery I've withstood for the past 4-5 weeks.

Thank you to those who are concerned for me. You are my burning candle in this pathless journey.

My sincere apologies to those that I've offended. Please try to understand that I'm only human and emotions run high when you're battling against sarcoma cancer.

Team Sarcoma Initiative (Malaysia)

2009-07-25T01:25:00.017+08:00

In approximately 8 hours from now, history will be in the making as my friends and I embark on a global project in benefit of the Liddy Shriver Sarcoma Initiative. You, too, can be a part of this community project through mere participation! When you join us, you automatically contribute a little towards sarcoma cancer research globally.

We're ecstatic about meeting strangers and having a blast! Come join us in your casual wear or dapper wear (whichever your prefer) at the Old Frees' Association (OFA) if you happen to be in Penang! We are congregating in the multi-purpose hall of OFA, addressed at 41, Jalan Sultan Ahmad Shah, 10050 Penang. We kick-off our country's inaugural sarcoma awareness program and team games session at 1000 hrs and finish off at 1300 hrs.

We're so psyched about this golden opportunity to educate the public that we've been featured in the Chinese press too!

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UPDATE (30 JUL 2009): Post-event coverage was exclusively done by Guang Ming for Team Sarcoma Initiative (Malaysia). Click here to view the scan.
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UPDATE (27 JUL 2009): We certainly had a blast running the event and I believe the crowd, a good mix of old and young, had a good time too! Here are some snapshots taken by my friend, Swee Jin, on his ever-trusty mobile phone.

Surgery No. 4.

2009-07-23T16:07:00.007+08:00

Music: Orbital - Halcyon (Tom Middleton Re-Model) (click to download)

I know I haven't posted much these few months. I thank my readers for their patience and understanding that during my absence, I'm nursing my condition and recuperating to the extent that I've had no appetite to blog on a regular basis.

After going through another cycle of cytotron in Bangalore, I requested to return early, having stopped midway through my therapy complaining about frequent nose bleeding and swelling of both the orbital and temporal area.

Fast forward to date, I am finding it increasingly hard to control my balancing and causing neck strains when there is a fluid build-up in the affected regions. The swelling has somehow pushed some cancer-infected cartilages from my sinus downwards towards my right nostril, triggering breathing problems. Severe headaches are also noted in the mornings too.

See the white stuff within the right nostril...that's my cancer pushed down to the tip of the nostril FROM the sinus.

Throughout my journey as a sarcoma cancer survivor, my experiences battling with it has been met consistently with stumbling blocks may it be in the form of therapy options or medical financial aid. But I'm thankful that at each hurdle that I meet, there's some form of reprieve. Many people out there who suffer the same plight don't get the necessary help to move forward so my heart goes out to those who are still longing for a break.

So, I brave myself for another personal milestone. Another craniotomy is scheduled this 7th August 2009 in HUKM to perform further cancer mass debulking and address alleged cancer cell apoptosis/necrosis in the swelled areas. That translates to three major surgeries in the period of 11 months!

It is my heart's desire to seek God for His grace, ensuring a successful op and quick recovery. I will never give up on my family and the good Lord will rise me up again from this forthcoming surgery.

D'Moments captures my hope in faith.

2009-07-04T15:25:00.013+08:00

Music: Hillsong United - King Of All Days (click to download)

I've always told my friends that for a cancer patient, you sometimes enjoy good days and then there are really horrid ones that inflict you with pain; dishearten and hinder your thoughts of survival. It isn't exactly rocket science to understand that different people resort to different means to calm themselves.

For me, regardless of what sort of day I go through, one thing that's been holding me up is my faith and trust in the good Lord. I am comforted by His presence when I pray and I feel blessed to be able to communicate through the prayer channel with Him. I've still a long way to go as I am only a 'Padawan' when it comes to having a strong relationship in Christ. It's important that I make a note to myself daily to thank God for keeping me alive today. Sarcoma cancer is aggressive and the term 'metastasize' is something I'm familiar with but shudder to think of. I regulate my breathing; consume the book of Job (the man who epitomizes the term 'faith' and also a lesson that we may question but not critic God's methods as we're here to appreciate His unfathomable feats), flip towards Isaiah 61 (He comforts my broken heart and is my Salvation), shed tears upon reading Luke 19:10 (Again, I am saved through His grace...despite my ignorant past) and thank God wholeheartedly anyway. In life, I think it's best to live it like there's "nothing to win and nothing left to lose" (Paul Hewson).

Last week, D'Moments Photography invited me to be a part of their special photo series in a church in Penang. The outcome was a series of poignant black & white shots of me coming to terms that Christ remains my Salvation and the serenity of that thought. Kudos to Mr. Rudy Choong & Mr. Bobby Yeoh for their time and effort to take me out on my first ever professional photo shoot. I should have done this in high school when I had youth on my side!

In the news: Why is sarcoma dangerous?

2009-06-21T14:45:00.008+08:00

Music: Red Snapper - ~~Bogeyman~~ (click to download)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8109048.stm

This article on BBC News echoes my sentiments exactly. Right at the point where it mentions that in osteosarcoma (a variation of bone cancer), "It is not uncommon for diagnosis to take weeks or even months", and "We need to make bone cancer a priority and we urgently need more research to identify effective new treatments".

Between carcinoma and sarcoma cancers, only the latter throws in less hope and more of a challenge to counteract. Just ask any oncologist in your vicinity today.

Are things getting tough?

2009-04-21T15:35:00.002+08:00

Music: Scott Weiland - ~~Sentimental Halos~~ (click to download)

It's been two long months and I'm still waiting and hoping for answers in my quest for palliative care against mesenchymal chondrosarcoma. The last time anybody dared to use the term at me was way back in 2006 when I had my first bout with it. It is indeed difficult for patients with recurrent episodes of skull-base cancer in Malaysia to seek for proper follow-up health care. There is no availability of technology for one. And the obvious is the rarity of what yours truly is going through. I'm glad that I've not stumbled across whack practitioners that will randomly prescribe anything...say, chemo drugs or repeat conventional radiotherapy in precisely the same area that's been treated before, just to get me out of their hair.

I keep asking God if I'm supposed to wait for new symptoms to crop up or may I be enlightened with some directions soon. Speaking of the former, my right nose started to bleed again just a few hours back. The last time I hit the panic button in mid January, my doctor told me only another debulking surgery could have helped me. Now, I've read about people who've been through hell and back; checking in and out of surgery wards for as long as they could remember but honestly I have no intention of following suit.

Why am I slowly waiting in agony?
For a miracle drug to cure this bug?
And while my worries are halted in His reprieve,
The clock ticks on synonymous with each air I breathe.

If faith is what holds me still,
Can I at least have the belief that medicine cures the ill?
Seeking high and low if just for a path,
It's still useless - everything leads to my epitaph.

Thank you to all my friends, the Malaysian Chinese Association and doctors from HUKM for being concerned about how I'm pulling through and helping to shoulder this burden with me. If I ever have anything to smile about these days, it's because of you.

Take this battered ship.

2009-04-03T01:31:00.007+08:00

Chondrosarcomas are stubborn as a mule. After getting my latest scans, it looks like the cancer mass is scattered everywhere around the skull and sinus. Here is a scan of the report:

This new MRI scan indicates; from what's relayed to me by the radiologist, that the cancer mass rests primarily around the masseter muscle region. That probably throws away the notion that I'd only need a neurosurgeon should another dreaded surgery be required in the near future. I'd need a hella good plastic surgeon to tackle this.

Why isn't there an option for me post-surgery to counter these things before they show up?

Down...but not quite out.

2009-03-31T23:53:00.003+08:00

Music: Rufus Wainwright - ~~Smile~~ (click to download)

I thought it would take a lifetime before I could muster the courage to write again, after all that I've been through in the past 2 months. Yes, I've survived yet another bout with chondrosarcoma and I remain thankful to everyone that's been pouring in such tremendous support during my third surgery in three years.

There's still much to do and although I would like to disclose the details, I really can't be certain of anything given the fact that I'm nursing a leaked dura layer along my cavernous sinus post-surgery. It's healing at its own pace but better that than status quo. Until I have some answers or leads, let's focus on things other than my niggling health issue.

I've been filling up time watching boring political thrillers to spending my short days (I've been having trouble sleeping) thinking of the route ahead whilst sipping on cups of infused lemongrass. Even so, I've never wanted to associate myself with your typical cancer patient; depressed, angry and beat. This is where all my readers and friends fill in the hole in my spirits. I acknowledge the joy of your company and correspondence to me so keep it coming!

Surgery no.3 becomes history.

2009-02-22T15:35:00.005+08:00

Surgery number 3, with the objective to debulk more cancer mass has just been completed a few days ago.

Acknowledging that recovery isn't looking to be easy this time around. But I'll soldier on. Always have, always will.

If it sounds scary, it probably is.

2009-02-13T17:22:00.004+08:00

No, we're not talking about Friday 13.

So after much hesitation, I've finally got my latest MRI scan done in Hospital UKM. By looking at this report, it looks like I've got a hill to climb. I still want to get my PT (proton therapy) done in Boston so I'll climb that hill if that's what it takes for me to get a better chance at eliminating this cancer.
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MRN: N211322
MRI Brain 12 Feb 2009

Clinical data:
30 y.o male, k/c aggressive recurrent mesenchymal chondrosarcoma. Multiple debulking done 2006-2008. Rt enulcleation done Sept 2008. MR to reassess tumor. KIV debulking.

Sequence:
Arial: T1WI, T1W1, FLASD2D
Coronal: FLAIR
Sagital: T1W1

Comparison made with previous MR dated 23 09 2008.

Findings:
The previously seen heterogeneously enhancing mass in the right middle and anterior cranial fossa is currently larger, measuring 8.7 (w) x 6.4 (ap) and 9 am (cc). It is relatively hypo to isointense to grey matter on T1W and slightly hyperintense in T2WI & FLAIR.
Medially the mass crosses the midline and obliterates the entire post-nasal space. The mass also involves both cavernous sinuses, however both ICA are patent.
Superiorly the mass extends into the extradural component of the right anterior and middle cranial fossae. There is also extension into the right frontal sinus causing fluid retention.
Posteriorly there is involvement of the right temporal lobe and the clivus with surrounding edema.
Anteriorly there is evidence of right orbital enulcleation and the orbital space is replaced by the mass. No clear demarcation between the mass and the posterior wall of the right maxillary sinus. Presence of fluid retention within the right maxillary sinus.
Inferiorly the mass extends to the right pterygoid fossa region, with involvement of the medial and lateral pterygoid plates and muscles. The right parapharyngeal space is obliterated. The normal configuration of the right parotid gland is not appreciated, which is suggestive of infiltration into this gland. No prevertebral extension as the mass is limited posteriorly by the prevertebral fascia.
Laterally the right infratemporal space and right masseter muscle are involved.

The previously seen enhancing mass in the right parietal scalp (tumor deposit) is no longer present.

No other focal lesion within the brain parenchyma.
No midline shift.
No hydrocephalus.

Impression:
Known case of mesenchymal chondrosarcoma which shows worsening of the local extension compared to previous MRI.

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I'll see if I can get some MRI images up here in the next few days. No promises because I'm doing quick posts from the hospital and I don't think it's even allowed but they were nice enough to oblige.

Another surgery beckons?

2009-02-09T11:36:00.002+08:00

I was hoping that if I could observe silence from my blog, that meant good progress on my health. But I guess it's not written in the stars. For the past few days, I've been suffering just like any brain cancer patient would (and I'm a skull-based cancer survivor mind you) with the extreme headaches and depleted appetite. I consider it to be a luxury that I could muster enough strength to even write at this particular moment.

The sinus problem I've mentioned back in January has started to evolve from causing severe nose bleeds to splitting headaches (counteracting the pain with mefenamic acid 250mg) around the orbit and temporal area - just like the ones I've experienced back in Bangalore before undergoing cytotron. It also needs to be noted that I am coughing out phlegm occasionally with streaks of blood in it. I am thinking objectively and the upcoming MRI (on brain) & CT scans (on skull and chest) this Tuesday will bring my current health complaints into clarification.

Just like how my cancer progressed from nothing to something in a short span of 1 month back in mid 2008, my hunch is that it's rebooting itself again; reinventing itself now that it cannot attack my eyes. The pain is so intense that there are days when I feel like Jonah (in the Book of Jonah) - that God does giveth and taketh away. Just months ago, I was feeling optimistic again about the possibility of a cure. Today, I fall back into the same wormhole that I was in back in July 2008...lost and uncertain. But the Lord also does display profound mercy to those who believe and I hold my last clutches of hope in the promise of that.

The likelihood that I'm to require invasive surgery to solve this problem won't surprise me at all after all the hell I've been through for the past few weeks. Question is: shouldn't I have a longer gap between brain surgeries?

Campbell Street comes alive!

2009-01-31T22:11:00.004+08:00

Chinese New Year open house (more like open road really) celebrations.

A precursor of things to come?

2009-01-16T11:35:00.016+08:00

For the past few days, I have been experiencing what I deem as a precursor to what I suspect is a ruptured blood vessel. Blood drips profusely from my right nose like tap water for two consecutive days now. It happens in the early morning when I clear my sinus by blowing my nose. The floodgates remain open for 1 minute and halts after attempts to stop the bleeding through conventional means (pressing hard against the nose bridge).

Where the damage stems from will be determined by an Ear, Nose & Throat specialist that I plan to obtain advice from by tomorrow.

There goes my uneventful first quarter of 2009.

UPDATE (17 January 2009 @ 1400 hrs): Dr. Goh, ENT specialist from Loh Guan Lye Hospital assured me that yesterday's episode wasn't as serious as initially thought. Upon inspection, he verified that the bleeding was caused by severe blood clots located around the paranasal sinus area (as illustrated, just before the ethmoid sinus region) which is near the surgery site. As per his indication, it looks to be drying up and healing so he has only prescribed antibiotics for a week's duration.

UPDATE (18 January 2009 @ 0245 hrs): So much for the term 'healing wounds'. Bled again after sneezing heavily in the middle of the night.

They didn't sign up for this.

2009-01-13T16:46:00.002+08:00

Music: Ocean Colour Scene - ~~Profit In Peace~~ (click to download)

I think the massacre going on along the Gaza strip has gone far enough. Everyone knows that certain parties take advantage of wars by supplying huge amounts of weaponry to the highest bidder. With this year's global recession just around the corner, it's a gold rush for whoever is doing the supplying.

In war, civilian deaths remain one of the elements that's usually questionable. They never signed up to their respective government's propaganda but they're in harm's way anyway. The death toll has gone beyond extrapolation as attacks have been done in densely populated areas. It is really a sad sight to see both Israel and Palestine taking brutal military action against one another when their focus should be somewhere else.

Peace on Earth, anyone?

Image used above is owned by pinkturtle2.

Post-cytotron: What's been going on?

2009-01-12T21:07:00.006+08:00

Music: Explosions In The Sky - ~~Our Last Days As Children~~ (click to download)

Now, why would I go and post another post-rock song in my blog!

Before I answer that; a little update on my life after the India experiment. We'll start off with the good news.

The upside has been a slight improvement in my facial sensation and the throbbing pain in my temporal area has disappeared after 6 weeks of cytotron treatment. The kind physicans there tweaked with the facial nerves and were absolutely determined to convert the non-differentiated cancer cells into differentiated ones; stable, non-metastasizing cancer cells. How I wish the buck stopped there...but there remains a few obstacles for my life to even return to partial normalcy.

Upon returning home from India, I've been experiencing excruciating headaches almost every morning which has further dampen my spirits whenever I'm not around friends or family. Coupled with other post-treatment effects such as severe itchiness over the treated areas and occasional reminders of splitting pains around the now-void eye area, I often stay in bed weathering the storm till the late afternoons. If that wasn't severe enough, my appetite has also significantly decreased over the past week and I'm living on a meal a day these days.

On the emotional front I guess it's easy to disguise my loneliness when I have set some goals to achieve in 2009. The best advice I can give to able-bodied cancer patients is that you plan out your months sparingly with key events (outings or things to do) and maybe seek God for a moment of 'random kindness' or opportunities to love and care for others. Believe me, giving during this difficult time lifts your spirits up more than anything else. Even the simplest of things - like fixing your friend's iPod can contribute to your day's smile. A sense of achievement even when you're at your most fragile phase of your life.

Now, to explain my obsession with songs post-rock. To be honest, my life evolves around this particular genre because of how emotionally evoking it can be. I really don't know for certain what's to be expected this early February 2009 when I get my latest MRI scans out. The week-long delay is caused by a suggestion from my family that I should chill for the moment and let the Lunar New Year pass before inviting any POSSIBLE unwelcome news.

My logical plan upon receiving a detailed report to my February 2009 scans would be to devise a plan to obtain proton therapy treatment in either Wanjie Proton Therapy Centre in China or go States-bound: Massachusetts General Hospital. All these plans remain tentative as it leans on the oncologist's confidence in the procedure considering its size, dodgy location and my treatment history. Should the mass expand to a non-treatable size, I may even have to get another craniotomy done. Yikes!

I've been meaning to write about my experiences in Bangalore but they all seem too scientific for a common man like me to decipher. I still am adamant that I should be able to forge something out of the sessions I've had with the kind physicians in Scalene Cybernetics. Please accept my apologies for the late transmission.

Blessed Christmas to all.

2008-12-24T15:48:00.001+08:00

Music: Casting Crowns - ~~Joy To The World~~ (click to download)

Hear ye! Hear ye!

I would like to wish all readers a blessed Christmas and New Year! Let this season be the time whereby we rejoice and exclaim our thanks to the Maker for giving us the opportunity to love! Even in my condition, I never stop believing in the Lord's promises through the Scriptures and taking up the opportunities laid out by our Holy Father to help and express love wherever we may be.

As I take another step towards recovery, I'm glad to have Jesus in my life and comforted by the fact that He has prepared for all of us a better place (Romans 8:18) should we heed His call to return. I've always had a firm belief that our Saviour listens to our faithful and righteous prayers (James 5:16) and I am utterly grateful to people across the world, notably my countrymen, who have been so selfless by being steadfast in their prayers for me. If that is not love, I don't know what is!

A closure to Bangalore.

2008-12-21T16:00:00.003+08:00

Music: Deerhoof - ~~Chandelier Searchlight~~ (click to download)

My time in Bangalore, India is coming to an end. Earlier last fortnight, my mind kept wandering during my daily hourly cytotron treatment in Scalene Cybernetics Ltd. You tend to think a lot when you’re immobilized; some happy thoughts and many profound. Then my mind kept urging me to go to the theme of love. Yes, without a doubt, I have experienced tremendous affection from people all around me back home in Malaysia and in India.

Even so, I’ve been unable to maintain a good relationship with my fussy and scheming former guesthouse host here in Bangalore who has made me a ‘persona non grata’ during my stay. I was quick to realise his scandalous ways and immediately sought after another place to stay - which turns out to be the exact opposite of his morbid home. Furious in the name of justice, I compensated those emotionally exasperating thoughts by consoling myself; telling myself repeatedly that you win some, lose some and then you forgive.

Considering this insight, of course there are times that I could have understood some Bangaloreans better to have long conversations about how they see themselves in 5 years’ time. Because of the language barrier, you often rely on intuition, eye contact, body language and body gestures to speculate what they’re trying to communicate across to you. Fortunately, I’m Asian so I think I got my guesses right most of the time!

And then, there are always the enjoyable but hazardous auto-rickshaw rides I’ve had during my time here, an essential form of transport in Bangalore. I’ve posted on this particular subject before so in epilogue, I just want to summarise that an auto-rickshaw ride is like an FPS (first-person shooter) game gone bad. It’s like a Japanese/Thai horror genre film in first person; you just shut your eyes to skip the stomach crawling parts.

Hygiene and toilet manners are huge problems here with a lack of recycling facilities available for the rural parts of the country. You often spot civilians throwing cigarette butts and plastic cups just about everywhere you can imagine. As toilets aren’t freely available within certain areas - and toilet papers very costly - there is also a tendency for the working class to urinate openly into drains and public grounds.

A primary school kid hanging outside a convenience store located in the village area.

Food delicacies of India remain a muted fascination because I hardly had a chance to explore the city’s celebrated restaurants. The eateries that I’ve been to failed to suppress my reverence that Malaysian food is still ‘numero uno’. I still bleed Malaysian and yearning for home. I can’t wait to get back to good ol’ Penang for some wok action! Here’s a little holler at you, Uncle Tony! In addition to that, wheat consumption is evidently just as high as rice so bakeries are a norm. I noticed that bakeries usually operate as convenience stores too; sprouting in every village corner. However, don’t expect them to carry condoms!

In response to a friend who has urged me to pay a visit to the Bollywood cinemas, I regret to feedback that most old picture houses have been replaced with the new and that a cinema ticket costs double what we would pay in Malaysia. Yes, how strange...considering the non-existence of piracy, at least in the Bangalore city area.

A young construction worker in Bangalore.

Bangalore isn’t all that bad and just about missed opportunities. One good thing about life here is that you’re often surrounded by professionals and intellects. By making affordability and availability of books a norm, they have caused a domino effect in addition to championing their nation’s wealth of writers. I envy the pace of their writers’ output! Stores and sidewalk bookstands’ sales are driven by the good sales they enjoy selling fiction and non-fiction works from the world’s literary greats. This has ultimately spawned a wide array of genuinely powerful thinkers to drive Bangalore in the future. And while we’re on the subject of affordability, I reckon that India is the only place in the world where you can get a USD$0.80 haircut!

Cheap haircuts and a nice backrub...all in one place!

All your daily needs here along the streets of Sivajinagar.

Another reason why I’ve been happy throughout my time here was because a lot of people in Bangalore have proved my preconceptions wrong. You’d be amazed by the amount of diligent and warm people here, doing their best to make an honest living. India (or Bangalore rather) is a nation full of potential – if only there was a better form of governmental leadership and a system that is humanely concern about the grouses of its people. The commoner (or as Aravind Adiga kindly put it – ‘half-baked’ Indians) here suffers greatly from absence of sustainable opportunity. Despite difficulties, it’s heart-warming to see that Bangaloreans are truly kings and queens of street marketing. They make the ‘pasar malam’ scene back home seem trivial as most night owls flock street markets here (i.e: Devasandra Main Road and Sivajinagar street market) in mammoth numbers.

Mr. A. Arputhan, the sweet comedian who happens to be in the same boat as yours truly.

I also enjoyed my nightly couch talks with fellow patient, Mr. A. Arputhan, who works as the Assistant Director for the State Income Tax Board (Lembaga Hasil Dalam Negeri). Apu; shortened that way as ‘arpu’ in Tamil means ‘to itch’, also from Penang, suffers from glioblastoma. Despite the occasional gibberish resulting from his ailment, the daft comedian remains a very loving father, who displays the meekness of a virgin cow. Through my observation of Apu’s state of mind post-surgery, I’m encouraged to seek solace and comfort in the things I already have. He remains in Bangalore for the next fortnight so I bid him best of faith and that the Lord will raise him up for the challenges ahead!

To summarise it all, Bangalore is still a very pleasantly economical place to visit but be visceral and budget-savvy so that certain circles of stereotypical Asian opportunists don’t milk you dry.

So far it's all God's mercy and good work that's pulled me through...

Nothing is perfect with or without cancer. Despite all these accumulated exposures (28 days' worth of 1 hour cytotron treatments & 14 days' worth of 2 hour cytotron treatments) and experiences, I am heading back home to Malaysia praying for a miracle. My new MRI scans will take place in a month's time. The last scan done upon completion of my 1st 28-day cycle showed no significant increase in the cancer mass in my brain. However, with it being physically there and active, I remain wary about what to expect in January 2009. And whatever’s to happen thereafter is anyone’s guess. But what I’m certain of is that God has bestowed me with a gift - or you could categorise it as a divine miracle – that I have the gift of a strong will power to live. I think most people here and back home that know me or have seen me would bear testimony to that. This great gift from our graceful Heavenly Father will carry me forward to the end of the race and I will continue to keep the faith and shout my thanks to the Lord (Luke 17:15) that is merciful to me.

I’d like to extend my gratitude to the people involved in making my stay in Bangalore a pleasant one and also to the people back in Malaysia who have kept us company with their text messages and prayers.

My next post will be on my cytotron treatment in Bangalore. See you guys down the line!

What's brewing in Bangalore.

2008-11-28T17:46:00.009+08:00

A budding city in Asia and although at times unfashionable, Bangalore makes up for their flaws by being a centre for technology and the pious. However, you would be sorely mistaken if you thought Bangalore, the IT hub of India, has caved in to the demands of Western conglomerates’ and allowed full access (or should I say penetration) to their local food & beverage market.

Granted, the level of income in today’s working class India probably doesn’t appeal to these multinational companies. Spending power remains at an average but as always with developing countries, the ‘crème of the crop’ middle-class citizens and the expatriates stationed here want to indulge in cafe culture and surely wouldn’t mind forking out the extra bit for a connoisseur’s experience.

Where there’s an opportunity, there you’d find an intelligent businessman busy building his empire. Enter Coffee Day, Bangalore’s successful and modestly styled bistro. It has all the likeness to a full-blown upmarket coffee chain outlet, minus the bourgeois. The franchise is sprouting almost everywhere in the city area prompting rumours that its owner, Mr. V.G. Siddartha is planning a domestic dominance with 160 outlets planned for Bangalore alone (as quoted by an insider). Judging from current outlet count at 134 (in Bangalore alone) and 647 (in the whole of India), coupled with the insatiable appetite of young and modern Bangaloreans for all things sweet, I’d be the last to doubt his vision!

Coffee Day outlets are designed and furnished in a fairly simple manner; painted in red, brown and beige; with limited seating areas. Some outlets have petite-looking bar areas which are restrictive to staff members when handling brisk business. Despite that, it is remarkable the way Coffee Day staff members get on with their day with such enthusiasm towards customers.

In regards to their products, Coffee Day offers customers a comprehensive array of products available on their jocularly composed menu. Beverages include staple favourites (espresso, latte, cappuccino, macchiato and black coffee), gourmet blends (Aztec and Ethiopian), ice blended assortments (trademarked as ‘Cold Sparkle’, ‘Tropical Iceberg’, ‘Iced Eskimo’ and ‘Kaapi Nirvana™’), cream blended selections (cafe frappe, ‘Devil’s Own’ and choco frappe), tea selections (‘Masala Garam’, ‘Assam Express’, ‘Darjeeling Divine’ and ‘Lemon Demon’), non-coffee based varieties (‘Lemon Freeze’, ‘Strawbrrrrrrry’ and ‘Lychee Thanda’, Fruiteazers (consisting of shakes, granitas and spritzers) and last but not least Freeze Frames (ice-cream desserts). For the fairly hungry, Coffee Day’s fresh from the oven goodies (cookies, croissants, sandwiches, cakes, doughnuts and muffins) are there to save the day!

Other than Coffee Day, there’s virtually no other proper cafe franchise available for the public to patronise. It’s a huge wonder why Starbucks or Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf haven’t entered their market. Suppose political head honchos haven’t been put to work to allow this to happen. Fortunately, locals here are rightfully content with a highly efficient and cost-friendly Coffee Day. In the long term though, I think globalisation and competition should just be allowed to take its course so as to improve the cafe connoisseurs’ experience in Bangalore.

Instead of whining about the lack of coffee house franchises I have to choose from, I decided to give a few of their listed drinks a try. To the seasoned coffee drinker who might want to upsize their orders, that option is sadly unavailable. Often packed to the brim, it must be remarked that their outlets often have problems taking up ice blended drink orders especially in mall outlets; quoting stock depletion as a single source of reason. Of all their ice-blended drinks, Kaapi Nirvana™, their award winning flagship beverage, ranks as a personal recommendation – just get them to go easy on the cream topping. Most coffee orders served here are extremely sweet!

Cafe culture here in Bangalore, from my observation, remains an untapped and partially ventured market in India. Tea remains their favourite type of beverage and with only one sole coffee house franchise dominating the scene it is hardly a surprise that you don’t necessarily get a ‘bang for your buck’ when patronising their outlets. There is however so much potential that Coffee Day can strive better to deliver while they’re still a big player in the local business. After all, a lot can happen over their coffee, can't it?

Here's to a globally connected Penang.

2008-11-24T15:22:00.002+08:00

I'll try to announce this without sounding like a "Malaysian residing overseas".

The Penang government makes free wi-fi internet access available to the public in various hotspots around the island. Judging from the list of participants in this project, it looks like practically the whole island to me.

Register for your access through their website here.

Risque driving in Bangalore.

2008-11-21T13:51:00.005+08:00

Hang on TIGHT!

Perhaps I wasn’t prepped in such a way that I wouldn’t be baffled by the amount of odd driving habits practiced by the locals in Bangalore such as the incessant honking evident amongst auto-rickshaws, cab drivers, motorcyclists, truck drivers and private vehicle owners. I thought I’ve seen it all, coming from Malaysia, a country that’s prone to road accidents regardless of season.

A Bangalorean cab in the city square.

There is adequate evidence to support the notion that driving in Bangalore can factor in fear into one’s blood pressure. Yes, it even supersedes the reckless driving one may experience in other Asian cities and maybe New York City or Paris. To top that up is the obviously poor air quality Bangalore citizens have to endure daily. If you’re unlucky, chances are that anytime after noon in Bangalore is peak hour with hordes of speeding auto-rickshaws and truck drivers buzzing through the dusty streets of Bangalore with such haste and generating an overdose of noise. You’d think twice of being a pedestrian here.

Strangely though, there are also incidences whereby unlike other Asian countries, drivers don’t take it personally when honked at. They even sport ‘Sound Horn No Problem’ or ‘Sound Horn OK!’ motif on rear-end of their vehicles. To what extent is their tolerance remains a mystery though.

When stuck in a traffic jam, the cab drivers and auto-rickshaws go through a series of meticulous and daredevil manoeuvring, often cheating death at every corner and main junction. With streets so crowded you wonder where they learnt how to drive. In the rural areas maybe? This driving culture is so widespread that it doesn’t matter where you learnt how to drive because it still poses as a risk when you’re out in the streets. Most places in Bangalore have dark unlit roads so everyone drives with their hi-lights on which makes it even harder to navigate and take notice of the stray dogs scared for their lives in the road curve.

Generally, cab drivers tend to multi-task a lot as well. They fumble through their pockets for a cigarette or nonchalantly speak on their cell phone for numerous times (they argue that they’re actually ‘networking’). And guess what? Occasionally, you may end up in a cab that doesn’t have seat belts for both driver and passenger too!

Now for the informative bit. Cab drivers, from a foreigner’s experience, charge approximately 850 rupees for a city excursion. The drivers will linger around and remain under your service until he takes you home. At the end of the day, it is 850 rupees for an 8 hour shift with you or more depending on how far you’ve gone beyond the city limits. For long distance trips, the rate may hike up to 1200-1500 rupees depending on destination, type of vehicle (cab agencies have 4x4s too) and hours of usage.

Auto-rickshaws are a cheaper means of tranport but just as risky!

Auto-rickshaws are generally the preferred means of transport if you’re sort of restrained budget-wise. From where I am staying (approximately 20 km away from the city), hiring these riders would cost me 180-200 rupees for a one-way trip to the city centre IF it is a favourable drop-off point (i.e: shopping mall). So, it would be safe to summarise that 1 km on an auto-rickshaw is equivalent to 12 rupees. For short distance trips from within a particular village, it is customary to offer around 30-40 rupees for a one-way trip to anywhere within the area.

An unexpected appointment in Bangalore.

2008-11-20T17:48:00.004+08:00

I’ll be frank with you. It’s hard to be cheerful and motivated all the time when you’re faced with an illness that’s bound to crop up if not policed accordingly. Sure, being a cancer survivor, it’s irritating enough being negative but I’d be lying if I told you that I haven’t felt that there are days when I sense that the end is near.

I still suffer throbbing glimpses of pain in my intracranial orbit a few times a day. Those are ones that bother me the most rather than my facial paralysis because it suggests that there’s still work to be done. This time, I’m hoping that it doesn’t cause a neurological discrepancy before I have time to detect its progression to a more cautionary level.

Dealing with anxiety, my mother and I have been trying to spend our days here like there is no tomorrow. We took the streets and our excursions led us to Brigade Road, a high street shopping bazaar that even Malaysians would be envious of. So it was a packed-to-the-brim sort of weekend in Brigade Road. To my left, a jewellery salesman; plying his trade as usual and selling his goods to tourists at exorbitant rates. To my right are a few clothing boutiques ranging from the now-obscure Pepe Jeans (unless you’re into F1 racing), Tommy Hilfiger, United Colors of Benetton to branded sports apparel stores.

Brigade Road...where the young dudes shop!

But what didn’t occur to me was that God sent a messenger that I would meet by chance. How that accidental meeting came about was through a simple “hello” on my part. This revitalising appointment set up by God with a benevolent preacher named Daniel was not a chance encounter but one that was pre-arranged by my Heavenly Father to wake me up in certain areas. It’s true that once you accept Him as your personal Saviour and seek His presence in your life, He makes it the best choice you ever made!

At the end of Brigade Road, whilst my mother was browsing through some beautiful garments at the mall, my eyes made contact with an Indian man, standing gallantly a few metres away. He was dressed in what seemed to me at the time, a pristine white sweater that could have been mistaken as an angel’s outfit if God wanted to despatch one to speak to me. When I addressed that gentleman, he unpretentiously glanced back, looking somewhat confused by this role God has summoned him for but certain of himself. He walked towards me and then I noticed the whites faded to green but pressed elegantly for someone his age. We shook hands and I explained to him the reason why I am in Bangalore. He introduced himself as Daniel, a former clergyman from a local Methodist church, St. Mark’s.

Our lengthy conversation on Christianity kicked off with him elaborating to me about his family being in Malaysia and that he has stayed back many years after the 2nd World War even though his relatives have fled to Malaysia. What surprised me the most was his striking resemblance to my Dad’s virtues; well-versed in the Scripture and an asserting character but better in the sense that he displayed a certain sense of calmness when preaching the good word of God.

He then asked me if I had faith in healing through Christ and without hesitation said, “Yes by all means!” He further illustrated that because of walking through faith alone, he was healed many years ago before any form of treatment was available in India for his health predicament. And he has survived up till this day! Doctors, he stated, are mere tools of healing but to achieve that, one should seek for Jesus for He is just and merciful to those who keep the faith. After all, if he was loyal and serving Him diligently, wouldn’t it have been a shame that God took away his life when he has such a big heart to offer to his community.

Daniel goes and shares with me about the power of prayer in life; your conversations with the Lord. Now, this is not something new and unheard of but Daniel then reiterated what my Dad has advised me before but with different sort of vigour: whenever you’re feeling overcome with despair, seek the worthy King for your full armour of God, belt of Truth, breastplate of Righteousness, shield of Faith, helmet of Salvation and sword of the Spirit (as quoted in Ephesians 6). If you’re still stuck in a rut, John 9 (when Jesus healed a man born blind) should be studied and meditated upon.

I stared at him obviously in awe and exclaimed “Amen!” in the middle of a crowded street. God had put my doubts and transgressions to a halt and turned my life around back in 2006. He knew that doubts were creeping up again and He, the great director and comedian, sent an angel in the form of an Indian pastor to remind me that He loves me!

God, I feel, didn’t stop there. When I requested my iPod to shuffle itself, it played Eric Clapton’s ‘Tears in Heaven’, I took the meaning of the song title in its literal sense; that is I’d like to be crying happy tears in heaven when I’m in the presence of the Lord.

Again, the limited internet access I have here in Bangalore may bring about long delays before I get another chance at blogging so I apologise in advance for my tardiness.

Bummin’ in Bangalore.

2008-11-18T19:16:00.000+08:00

I arrived in Bangalore on the 9th of November with a disease - fragments of the last battle with my skull-based cancer. But I was hoping that my spirits, held high by the wonderful people back home, would cause a ripple during my expected four weeks here. After all, hasn’t it been foretold that God’s love is like a drop in the ocean?

To my mother, accompanying me out of concern, we came to Bangalore in search of the missing piece of the puzzle – a viable treatment to rid me of the residual cancer cells still nesting in my head. On and off during the day, I’d experience slight throbbing pains in the orbit. There are days when I worry that it would recur far sooner than we thought. Still, I shake away the anxiety and focus on the possibilities that cytotron could offer.

The weather in Bangalore shifts frequently from dry to chilly at every quarter-turn of the day. I recall spending the first few nights in my temporarily-adopted home in Seegahalli Road with no blanket in sight. It was cold enough to dry and flake my skin so we set out in a search for blankets to warm us through the nights.

My cytotron treatment in SCALENE’s Centre For Advanced Research And Development (CARD) spans for 28 sessions (from Monday to Sunday). Initially, I was flabbergasted for fears that my body isn’t allowed any weekend rest; previously allowed in conventional radiotherapy. I was then reassured by two respectable physicians Dr. Ranjith and Dr. Kumar (the creator of the cytotron machine) that in cytotron, the body usually doesn’t deteriorate over time and that I would have virtually no side effects to worry about. Present are two other notable patients also joining me in this crusade of a cure; a Mr. Rana (from Mysore, India) with colon cancer and Miss Edil (from Budapest, Hungary) with breast cancer that has metastasized to the liver.

As internet connectivity is unavailable here in my guest house and ironically even more scarcely available in the village centre, I spend many hours of my day reading through very affordable books; from Bono’s biography to exceptional literary works from India’s finest authors. These books are priced at approximately 30-40% off Malaysian bookstores’ rates. The obvious cause of this is because publishing houses, even famed ones like Harper Collins, have opened offices in India to cater for the knowledge hungry and aspiring intellectuals of India ranging from doctors to engineers to IT professionals.

On a personal note, it’s amazing that I’ve covered twice as many books in a week than I’d do in a month back home. India is an intellectual hub with many locals flocking for the latest information available in bookstores like Crossword and Landmark. Along the streets in Brigade Road, one can also stumble upon mainstream bestsellers at low prices too.

As it is, Bangalore (or Bengaluru) to me is defined as an archaic city with a modernistic subconscious harmonious etching her foreground. In the city, it’s still a safe bet to play caution if you have a ‘TOURIST’ label plastered on your face.

I’ll seek for more opportunities to post from a shabby internet cafe every few days. Please accept my apologies if blog posts become a rarity during my time here in Bangalore.

Cytotron: A viable alternative.

2008-11-08T22:11:00.001+08:00

When life puts you in a corner and you have to choose between playing the waiting game, stay fickle-minded or act upon the best next course of action, being spoilt for choice suddenly becomes a dilemma.

The latest news is that I'll be leaving for Bangalore, India tomorrow to undergo an experimental cancer treatment called 'cytotron'. The treatment will last approximately 6 weeks. The good news is that I should still be able to obtain internet access so I can share with the world what this new treatment is all about. We've been hearing the buzz about proton therapy throughout my recent blog posts; which is still something I am seriously considering should my cytotron experience fail to yield any positive results. Being a cancer patient who has a limited budget and residual cancer sitting within my skull, I need to think and act fast to avoid any possible recurrence so soon after my major brain surgery.

I thank all my friends and family members again who have visited and offered solid advice, company and aid. Respect goes out to MCA and the Malaysian public for their compassion and understanding of my cancer journey.

Let's hope for a miracle to happen!

Have a happy birthday, November boys and girls.

2008-10-30T22:18:00.004+08:00

Music: Modeselektor - ~~Happy Birthday~~ (click to download)

My post-surgery treatment beckons in a week's time. In the tradition of cancer patients striving to live it out and not be bed-ridden with distraught all the time, I'd like to raise a toast to all the Scorpios I know and those that I don't know (I really mean this). Have a happy birthday and never forget those who love and cherish you!

This November, my birth month, I am reminded that I don't need a birthday party to remind me how awesome Malaysians really are. I have their backing and dancing shoes so that my days are coloured pink rather than grey.

If you feel like swaying about alone in your living room, Modeselektor should get you in the mood. My fellow Scorpios should really fancy playing this track this whole November. I haven't danced in awhile but it won't stop me from tapping my feet.

A Night At The Theatre.

2008-10-26T22:57:00.008+08:00

Mark your calendars!

Penang's unrivaled ballet establishment, Priscilla Ballet Academy in collaboration with their Sydneyian peers, Planet Dance is scheduled to shake some action in the island with 'A Night At The Theatre' at Dewan Sri Pinang on the 15th of November 2008. The aforementioned show is a tribute to various musicals that have graced Broadway, London's West End and the world of cinema.

Dubbed as Priscilla Ballet Academy's 34th anniversary & annual charity fundraising event, expect nothing short but a virtuoso performance by Penang and Sydney's finest dancers. Spearheaded by its pioneering artistic director, Miss Priscilla Teoh, it is also interesting to note that the 20-member cast of award-winning Planet Dance will travel to Penang on their own accord to make this outing a sensation you'll never forget!

Performance art interpretations of classics, namely of 'Miss Saigon', 'Billy Elliot', 'Hairspray', 'High School Musical', 'Legally Blonde', 'Moulin Rogue', 'Dreamgirls' and 'Phantom of the Opera' promises to deliver a captivating and invigorating experience to those who crave for an upturn in the local arts scene. Penangites have never before been pampered by a collection of exciting musical pieces all filled in one memorable evening!

What better way to indulge in performance arts than knowing that you are supporting a list of beneficiaries devoted to caring for people with disabilities, single parents and the elderly. This event is also endorsed by the Penang State Government for the aid of The Little Sisters of the Poor, Shalom House, Asia Community Service and Soroptimist International Penang.

Tickets are priced at ~~MYR 40.00~~ sold out!, MYR 60.00 and MYR 100.00 and are available at these outlets:
- Priscilla Ballet (Phuah Hin Leong Road) / 04-2276918
- Priscilla Ballet (Sultan Azlan Shah Road) / 04-6448209
- Jammin Senzation (Masjid Negeri Road) / 012-4783966
- Little Sisters of the Poor (Batu Lanchang) / 04-8283437
- Shalom House (Thomas Road) / 04-6564146
- Asia Community Service / 04-6585396

Download the e-flyer for the event here.
For more information, please contact Miss Judy Chan (6-04-3907753) / charityconcert08@gmail.com.

And in the news...

2008-10-21T17:35:00.020+08:00

Nationwide coverage on my struggle and predicament to find a means of treatment post-surgery (proton therapy) have been initiated by Malaysian humanitarians namely the philanthropic arm of MCA (Public Services & Complaints Department), headed by the compassionate Datuk Michael Chong, with the support of the local press. I feel blessed that they see it fit for me to find a resolve as soon as possible.

I have been spotted in these online news portals and publications:

In the Chinese press:
China Press - 男子患罕見癌症急需12萬醫藥費
LINK
Sin Chew Jit Poh - 罕見軟骨癌纏青年‧急需12萬醫費救命
LINK
Oriental Daily
[no linkage]
Guang Ming - 软骨癌门2次刀失右眼青年需要12万医药费
LINK
Kwong Hwa
LINK | LINK

In the Malay press:
Harian Metro - Pesakit kanser tengkorak tagih simpati
LINK

UPDATE (4 November 2008):
In the English press:
The Star
LINK | LINK

All the young dudes.

2008-10-14T17:43:00.003+08:00

Being a cancer patient, you wage an ongoing war against the toxins and roguing cells in your body. There are days when you feel that the battle is lost and then there are days when you feel motivated to make your stance, all thanks to family and friends who will stand by you and offer you nothing short but their care and love.

I had the pleasure and honour of meeting up with my old schoolmates recently at a gathering held in Medusa Gold, Gurney Drive on the 11th of October 2008. These fine gents and ladies graced the event to commemorate my successful return from surgery and to raise funds for my post-surgery treatment. As there was no alcohol consumption on my part, I honestly, soberly felt on top of the world when I saw these old faces, some of whom I've known since grade school.

Even though the battle is long and hard, I do not question the benefits of emotional support that friends can bring into the frame of things. I would like to again thank Beng Shang for initiating this gathering and to everyone who has made the sincere effort to participate.

Here are some shots taken during the evening:

The return to HUKM: Part 1.

2008-10-10T10:55:00.001+08:00

To some people, going back to the hospital can be such a dour moment; rekindling all the suffering and being surrounded by other sick people who share more or less the same plight as you do. What surprised me when I visited HUKM yesterday was that most of the patients have been discharged. I thanked God for that because that can only mean one good thing: they made it through.

The view from my ward.

An empty ward 4.

I walked over to my old bed and thought over the nights I've spent over here in absolute pain and remorse. During my occupancy here, there must have been over 4 new patients who checked in after me. I recall there were a few Malays; one who was roughly half a decade younger than me who got himself bed-ridden after an ugly motorcycle accident. I felt so sad for him because he couldn't get the chance to spend Hari Raya with his family and that his mother had to quit her job just to stick around to nurse him back to health. What big love!

Where I used to crawl, ache and sigh.

Dr. Soon Bee Hong, the neurosurgery medical officer from Penang, was in charge for my seroma aspiration. Lucky me because she was the sort of doctor you'd want to be on your side when you get this done. The aspiration was relatively brief and painless, thanks to my partial facial paralysis. She calmly, with her grace, laid me down on the bed and applied some local anesthetic on my head before proceeding. I seriously didn't feel the pinch of the syringe at all. What caught me by surprise was that it wasn't a 'clear liquid' as initially claimed but resembled 'contaminated, black blood'. Some samples were sent for tests for which I hope doesn't turn out to be abnormal.

Before.

After.

I'll be off again to HUKM next Thursday to obtain some important documents from my surgeon and oncologist. It's about time to start planning for post-operative treatments so those letters will come in handy.

Best period to quit smoking.

2008-10-07T17:55:00.003+08:00

Excuse me while I look at my surgery's other silver lining as a factor which makes quitting cigarettes altogether much easier.

My recently married cousin brother, Gavin and I had a little chat a few hours ago about how easy it is for someone to quit cigarettes altogether ala cold turkey after a major surgery like mine. I think the logic behind it was because I lost about 9 pints of blood which is approximately 5 litres in the metric system. Based on this trivia site, adults have an average of 9-12 pints per body. So could it be possible that when I lost all that blood during surgery, I also flushed 'nicotine-dependency' out from my bloodstream as well?

Certainly not the best method to quit by a mile but at least I'm off the only vice I've been struggling to quit for many years. Kinda gives you another reason to smile about.

Stitches go off today.

2008-10-06T05:35:00.007+08:00

The surgery stitches and staples go off today at Penang General Hospital. I will also have my seroma aspirated and have a little one-on-one conversation with the neurosurgery or oncology department there.

I hope to be able to compose a blog update later this evening. There needs to be some form of plan for post-operative treatment which will take place in 4-6 weeks' time.

UPDATE @ 1900 hours:
Well, today did NOT go as planned. Penang GH only agreed to remove the stitches partially and didn't have the chutzpah to get my seroma aspirated. They have suggested that I get it done through HUKM this Thursday ~~next week~~ and in all honesty that's my best guess where my next blog entry will come from. Sorry lads!

With some old Frees (and Georgians).

2008-10-04T21:00:00.006+08:00

Music: The Beatles - ~~With A Little Help From My Friends~~ (click to download)

Ok so we're not really officially that 'old' (yet) but it was nice to have my former schoolmates visiting me during my recuperation at home. If there's any welcome guest in my house, it's by default old Penang Free School boys who have been so kind to drop by and listen to my plans for the future. You know, once you've lost much normalcy in life, you really want to hug everyone and tell them you're glad they stuck around.

From left: Alvin Ong, Saw Swee Jin, yours truly & Tan Beng Shang.

UPDATE (5 October 2008 @ 1900 hrs):
Today, another group of old friends came about for a visit.

From left: Valen Tan, happy ecstatic me, Tan See Siang, Boon Shih & See Siang's mum.

UPDATE (6 October 2008 @ 1900 hrs):
Lovebirds Karen Kee and Stan Ooi decided to couch surf at my place too!

UPDATE (7 October 2008 @ 2000 hrs):
Old classmate Jason Chin Kim Khoon got couched too!

UPDATE (12 October 2008 @ 1730 hrs):
Godsister Lee Ai Ling and her long-time boyfriend (and my long-time schoolmate) Kok Heng goes stark raving mad couch crazy at my place!

UPDATE (19 October 2008 @ 1530 hrs):
More couch surfers! This time Naimah and Mazilifah gracing my humble abode. Long-time friends Brad Ch'ng Lye Eng and Catherine Goh Lean Nee opt to stand instead.

Post-surgery: Drugs and supplements.

2008-10-02T21:15:00.001+08:00

All cancer survivors know that as long as they have some cancer cells left in their body, there's always a slight chance of a recurrence down the line. What a better way to prepare yourself than to isolate/control/heal/rejuvenate God's given auto-immune system before the problem gets flared up again.

Every cancer patient should have his/her own antioxidant guide. I'm illustrating my own with good intentions so that if anyone out there ever goes through the same turbulent times as I have would have a better grasp of what to expect after getting out of the hospital. I am also posting my supplement guide here because I personally need a reminder of what to take. I must also remind that because I have cancer, my immune system is relatively weaker than the 'average Joe'. Yes, it's tiring sometimes to swallow up all these pills but I have no other choice but to boost up my body's reinforcements.

DRUGS:
For starters, let's take a look at what I have in the bag from the hospital. These are drugs that are to be orally taken until further notice:

Breaking them down:

My vitamins.

For pain relief, I have Tramadol capsules.

For gastric issues that may occur after taking too many pills.

Paracetamol, to be used sparingly.

Folic acid, useful for cell repair.

...and if I don't get any bowel movement, dhactulose syrup to the rescue.
_______________________________________________________

SUPPLEMENTS:
Now let's take a look at what else has to be addressed and how to administer it:

USANA AOPro and Chelated Mineral, to be taken side-by-side twice a day. These are basically body vitamin and mineral supplements.

Chaga mushrooms in tablet form, a single dose taken before breakfast and after dinner.

FLANTECH's Mega H. 2 tablets every 3 hours.

USANA Proflavanol tablets. 4 tablets to be taken after every meal.

Alkaline Flanagan Microcluster, approximately 10-20 drops of these for every 500 ml of plain water.

Enzyme-booster, CoQuinone. 1 after breakfast, 1 after dinner.

I view these supplements as a means of fortification of my body's immune system. I urge you not to give up a healthy routine of exercising. And always stick to the rule of thumb: REDUCE YOUR SUGAR AND SODIUM INTAKE! Every little thing that you do will come in handy if the battle is waged again.

The prayer before surgery.

2008-10-02T18:28:00.001+08:00

I just want to share this little prayer I held vigilantly the night before surgery. The original copy is handwritten by my Dad. If it helped me, I hope this prayer finds its way to you if you ever feel lost in your battle against the uncertain.

Dearest Heavenly Father,
I need Your help.
I feel so uncertain of my life right now.
Serious illness for myself.
Shakes my faith in God.
Help me to imitate Your enduring Faith when
I face the ugliness of cancer and surgery
Allow me to trust you Lord.
The way You did in this moment of distress
I want to be cured and given a new lease
of life where I can be closer to You.

Now I ask You God for the strength
to bear the cross in my life
I ask for the grace not to despair,
I seek the power to proclaim God's word
and presence in my life despite the hardship, anguish and fear I now experience.
Oh glorious Lord Jesus, be an inspiration to me and petitioner of the need and grace from you as my loving Father.
Amen.

I kept repeating the lines, "By your 39 stripes Lord Jesus I am healed. Thank you Lord!" at least a dozen times before it was time to head into surgery. The complicated surgery resulted in me using over 9 bags of blood but it is still a miracle that I'm around. God made sure of that so why shouldn't I be thankful today?

Back home: Day 1.

2008-10-01T14:03:00.015+08:00

One of the first few things I realised upon returning home was that I'm begun to sleep and wake up in accordance to the schedule I've endured back in the hospital. Having subconsciously conformed to this pattern, I occasionally get up in the middle of the night to urinate, only to feel mighty hungry afterwards. I think my body is detoxing itself from the catabolic steroids its been pumped up with for the past few weeks. My wonderful brain surgeons, the gentle Mr. Azizi Abu Bakar and Mr. Toh has discontinued my dosage thankfully and it should take a week or two for the drug to wane off my system.

Hospital Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (HUKM), to me, in a nutshell, offers such a comprehensive amount of support for cancer patients. The ENT, ophthalmology and radiology department deserve high praises for the pace that they operate (seriously, you don't really wait for too long in HUKM). No one dared to touch my case until HUKM showed up and took council with their network of medical professors to seek the best possible solution. Any cancer patient would at least be grateful for that. I was blessed to have a fellow Penangite, Neurosurgery Unit MO, Dr. Soon Bee Hong to talk to me when I felt down and confused. She's very attentive to detail and her discharge letter certainly made my follow-up plans much easier to manage.

My discharge letter.

Coming back to Penang during the Raya holidays was perfect. When you lose so much quality in life, you rarely look back and take anymore for granted. I miss my Penang friends. I miss the Penang food. I miss every single Penangite all of a sudden! I've even promoted Penang to the nurses at HUKM and told them to please ring me up if they ever get a few days off work to travel up north!

I guess what I'll never bitch about during my fight with cancer is that God never took LOVE away from me. I still think back with awe at how much moral love and support I've been receiving these past few months and I just kneel down in prayer to thank those who decide to give.

I have an appointment in a week with Penang GH to remove the necessary stitches and excretion of fluids from my head (it is slightly bulbous at the moment). I wouldn't go as far as to call it a serious case of hydrocephalus though. Merely a aspiration of seroma over the operative site should suffice. I am also nursing haematoma noticably present on my arms and right wrists.

Post surgery: Updates.

2008-09-29T16:45:00.000+08:00

I have so much so share with you after a whole week here! Drafts are being developed in my head - don't worry there's tons of information to dwell upon as a surgery survivor. Everything went relatively smooth. No post-surgery trauma. I'm strong as a bull and I cannot wait to set my sights on being back in Penang again.

I just wanted to remind all my former colleagues/schoolmates who have showered me with their love and visits that those little moments really means A LOT to me. The idea of reuniting old ties is always a welcome order when you're down and out. I am blessed to have very funny and loving Christian and non-Christian friends around me. God it makes me wish I could relive 1992-1996 all over again!

I only have one eye to use now but that doesn't cripple my excitement about life. God has given me a second chance (come to think of it; make this the third) so I am joyous about it! I'm extra thrilled because of the support and love I have around me *points the finger at you*. You blog readers/supporters/visitors/friends/families/ex-colleagues/ex-schoolmates make life worth fighting for! I have a few ideas on how I can contribute back so stay tuned and I'll share what I've got in mind with you once I've recuperated well.

That is all the updates I have for today. I'm optimistic about the challenges that I am to face in the coming months. God willing, I will make it.

Surgery: Updates.

2008-09-25T20:10:00.001+08:00

The date of the surgery has been postponed tentatively to tomorrow 9AM but it was supposed to happen today due to the shortage of an ICU room to accommodate my brother's case.

Heartfelt thanks.

2008-09-23T13:59:00.002+08:00

The long wait is drawing to an end. I'm to gear up for my surgery which will be held on the 24 September 2008 (at Hospital UKM, Cheras). The surgery will start at 0900 hours.

Throughout this journey, again, similar to what I've experienced in 2006, God's grace has given me a legion of caring friends and acquaintances who've reached out in some way or another to lend a hand in my fight against brain cancer. I am thoroughly humbled by this show of compassion as I am amazed at their tenacity in offering financial support. Nothing is ever certain in life and whatever happens to me days from now, I would like to extend my gratitude to these fine people and establishments for their TLC. A long list so it seems...

01. The Chondrosarcoma Support Group:
For I think I would have walked alone in the dark if it weren't for the efforts of the people behind this forum board.

02. KDU College Penang:
Miss Joey Phuah, Jet Lee K.H., Lee Yi Pei, Mr. T.S. Lee, Siok Hoy, An Nee, Dr. Maggie, Ida Choo, members of the Health Club and all the indie kids. Thank you for the having me on board!

03. The ladies from EXCEL GSA (M) SDN BHD:
Kathy, Sheryl, Ann...I know I have respectable friends when have you gals around!

04. Jack Ong Seng Leong & Lui Poh Lin of Morrison Express.

05. Korean Air PEN for their sense of optimism and gold-plated soul.

06. CEVA Logistics staff and management, never shying away from reaching out to those in need:
Mr. Foong Kah Poh, Mr. Goh Chu Woon, Hock Sun, Amy, Kah Ieong, Nazri Salleh, Ayu, Lisa, Ati, Annuar, Yus, Haslinda, Nor, Hui Bao, Daren, Mandy, Bee Theng, Jaclyn, Miss Chong Lee Khim, Mr. Khor Hin Leong, Anne Lim, Li Ling, Sharaswathy, Sam Loo, Linda, Mansor, Shaiful, Remy, Ravindran Paul, Aidah, Rahim, Amir, Faizal, Asri, Mesh, Sandra, Badrul, Fiza, Hasdi, Fariff, Hasrul, Shirley Lim, Jennifer Tan, Soon Men Cheng, Siti, Daniel Cheah, Millicent Yeoh, Yvonne Lim, James Ooi, Hock Luan, Tan Wui Na, Linda, Malar, Salisa, Izamri, Ai Peng, Miss Looi, Rajesh, How, Shida, Tan Siew Poh, ST Ong, Neoh Hooi Nee, Noor, Azira, Chew Chee Yeow, Teh Sue Young, Mohd Jasni, Noel Gim, Chow Teik Ming and Miss Goh.

07. The team at Expeditors International Penang, my extended family whom I've learned so much with.

08. My old friends and colleagues from DHL Logistics and Airfreight:
Miss Tan, Chee Tai, Mei, Mr. Lim Kok Ean, Miss Kut Swee Bee, Mr. H'ng Chuan Keat, Mr. Low Teik Chooi, Mr. Tan Leong Wah, Joane Yeap, Daphne Chuah, Julia Boey, Jessie Lim, Kar Hui, Rebecca, Sharon, Christy Eoh, Ellie Loh, Ann Teoh, Mohd. Zaki, Flora and Rachel.

09. The fine folks at UPS, some whom I've worked with during my learning years in Exel:
Miss Vivian Chuah, Mr. Timmy Kum, Mr. Tay Ling Teik, Miss Mimi How, Mr. Khoo Hee Theng, Miss Ooi Bee Cheng, Shih Ling and Miss Jasmine Teoh.

10. Gavin & Selina Leng. Please forgive me for missing the wedding dinner!

11. Chris and Melodie Saw, Jonathan Ang and Jaime C., my good friends in Singapore.

12. Aunt May and Uncle Tony, my 'advisory board' in everything new age.

13. Dr. Chong, Miss Peggy Lim and Mr Ding DS. Thanks for believing in me as well as instilling belief in my own skills.

14. Miss Kriss Wong for being such a great muse during my time of suffering.

15. Old Frees from the class of 1996.

My sincerest gratitude is extended to:
Tess Owi, Samantha Chan, Miss Ong (from FEDEX), Miss Jane Lee, Boon Hock, Shanthy Pakirisamy, Miss Hew, Lee Lim Sean, Jacqueline Christine, Alice Lee, Chuah Huey Ming, Lim Tze Peng, Cheng Swee Imm, Yaw, Kim Yong, Seok Leng, Jessica Ewe, TK Cheah, Tang Cheung Kim, Lim Bee Ling, Jeannie Ooi, Miss Loke Seok Hoon, Miss Jacinta Wong, Steven Fong, Jamie Hoo, Miss Lim Mee Yeong, Samantha Ooi, Jasmine Chang and Lim Cheng Seong.

To those that I have unintentionally or for brevity's sake, left out, please accept my sincerest apologies. You dwell in my heart as I walk in faith for this surgery to be a success!

In the max of pain.

2008-09-15T11:20:00.002+08:00

I look like one of those football manager characters in EA SPORTS' 'FIFA07', no?

Meet Darth Vader. *heavy breathing*

My mind drifts away from reality at times. It's hard to keep a firm grip on what's going on around you when you're suffering from bone cancer in your brain. It gets even harder as each day passes when my body's immune system falters against an almost unstoppable disease that promises to devour my brain before it lets up. And yes, it's more difficult to endure than it looks. It has now gone to affect the posterity my sclera.

The white of my eyes has already been pushed out of contortion.

The sleeping pills don't work either and they keep me in limbo for many hours even when I'm on half the pill. I eat late and sometimes only once a day. I sleep at irregular odd hours. I barely move from my bed. I fidget around my bed in a clockwork motion, bearing the pain and discomfort.

While I'm still waiting in vain for a surgery date, I press for inner strength. I call upon it in such agony so as to allow for my body, mind and soul to enjoy tranquility, albeit for a few hours. That's how hard it has been for the past week or so. I keep this bible verse in check every time I feel that the going's tough.

"Body, I speak the Word of Faith to you. I demand that every internal organ perform a perfect work, for you are the temple of the Holy Ghost; therefore, I charge you in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the authority of His holy Word to be healed and made whole in Jesus." (Prov. 12:18)

A. Slight. Detour.

2008-09-11T17:56:00.004+08:00

After weeks of frustration waiting for my surgery date, it comes to my knowledge that neither party (my brain and craniofacial surgeon) are willing to take up the risk nor the time to expedite for a good date for my operation.

Well, having said that, I guess it's high-time to look elsewhere for a better pair of hands. I'll be ringing up Penang Adventist Hospital to see if they're kind enough to take up my case.

I seriously don't feel that I hang on much longer with the way things are. Only God is keeping me sane sometimes. The way things are going at the moment, it really does seem that cost-savings are out of the window and it leaves me a daunting task of calculating how to prepare for post-surgery treatments.

A big thank you to medical aid contributors who have visited me in the past few days. What I have witnessed in the past few weeks have been the triumph of the human spirit. God knows the funds will prove quintessential for my private surgery and whatever happens thereafter.

So bad, I need a valium to sleep it off.

2008-09-05T00:49:00.002+08:00

My eye hurts so bad these days its hard to get some decent sleep.
I wonder if the doctor could prescribe valium for me.

UPDATE (5 SEP @ 1857 hrs):
Like the late Heath Ledger, I have a handful of Stilnox and chlorpheniramine maleate (4mg) to counteract with my sleeping problems and pain respectively. I'll definitely use these with caution.

Proton therapy possibly within reach after all.

2008-08-26T22:02:00.005+08:00

Music: Manic Street Preachers - ~~Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head~~ (click to download)

Conceding the fact that conventional radiotherapy might be too high a risk for me to take up after surgery, Wanjie Proton Therapy Center might just be the missing link I've been looking for.

Further reading here, here, here and here.

But can I fly?

Big love to Elizabeth M. for highlighting this to me.

A cocktail of supplements.

2008-08-25T20:55:00.008+08:00

Now by posting this, it doesn't mean that I've only just started taking care of my health. On the contrary, after my previous experience with viral drugs, I figured putting a little faith in medicinary supplements wouldn't hurt. A little Eastern touch here, a little Western science here. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm NOT getting paid to promote these items. I'm only publishing a reference of what I have been diligently supplementing myself for the past few days. I call it my 'detox cocktail'.

Every adult knows that at any period of time, should you decide to do a full scan on your body, chances are you have itsy-bitsy cancer cells lurking here and there. But nobody wants to know until symptoms crop up, yeah? Let's say the populist vote rules ("...why bother, dude?") but may I suggest, being a cancer patient, that you take a little effort to boost up your immune system just to be on the safe side. Most of us have read forwarded articles from family, friends and colleagues so that's good for you. Everyone out there who treasures life should take up exercising and daily supplements to protect their body from the toxins that breach through our immune system on a daily basis.

My list of supplements currently involves these products below. Now, there's absolutely no need for you to follow me like sheep. You can have your own eclectic mix of sorts. Do think around the lines of organic vegetable drinks and lots of detoxifying beverages.

This traditional herbal concoction made out of pure honey and black cumin seed is taken once a day in the morning before breakfast. A teaspoon mixed with lukewarm water and stirred anti-clockwise with a plastic spoon (as advised by my colleague).

A sachet of Nutriact or Refresh thrice a day. I mix it with approximately 150ml of cold water. Nutriact, a mushroom powder beverage, claims to be able to counteract the symptoms related to cancer.

My basic dose of antioxidants/vitamin C. Two tablets of USANA Proflavanol per day. You can also opt to get your antioxidants by drinking jasmine green tea too.

A 100% vegan and cholesterol-free multi-grain drink. If you're a traditionalist, you'd be pleased to know it contains only the finest ingredients (ginkgo, gorgon fruit, lotus seeds, ophiopogon root, mung beans) and best of all, easy on your digestive system. I consume this once a day by adding 180ml of water to 30g of powder. On and off, I'll mix it with some soya bean milk in case I feel like skipping a meal that day.

All products donated courtesy of the people I love. (See, I told you I wasn't getting paid!)

A summary of sorts.

2008-08-24T01:18:00.011+08:00

Music: Shocking Pinks - ~~This Aching Deal~~ (click to download)

Ever dreaded to meet your good doctor, knowing that the only thing he/she has in store for you is bad news? You're not alone. I've experienced this from all angles; my neurosurgeon, craniofacial surgeon and oncologist. Perhaps the scenario would be slightly different if I were to be in more "advanced" countries - whereby solutions were much more diverse and the doctor-to-patient relationship was a tad bit warmer.

A handpicked conversation with two neurosurgery consultants.

Me: Good morning, Doc.
Doctor: You thinking of heading into operation?
Me: Well, if it’s the best possible solution, I’d definitely go for it. Depends on your prognosis, Doc. I really am open to your suggestions.
Doctor: Because the tumour is quite big. If we don’t go in and remove the tumour, it’ll cause problems later. And your double vision, I think the cause of it is due to the optic nerve; the ocular motor nerve being affected by it as well. The nerve is compressed.
Me: How big is big, Doctor? I mean the size of the tumour you’re seeing on the MRI films. I’m not good at deciphering this.
Doctor: How big is big?

(My doctor rummages through the thick archive of files and searches for the ones scanned recently.)

Doctor: From what I have in hand it looks like its 4x2 cm.

(My doctor goes to show me the other areas that are affected by the brain cancer and explains that an aggressive form of surgery will need to be performed which involves craniotomy and maxilla facial surgery.)

Me: But what are the chances of removing everything. I mean will this aggressive surgery improve chances of removal or are we going to remove for the sake of downgrading the danger. This complicated technique that you’re going to deploy (craniotomy & maxillofacial surgery), will it further increase the chances of say, at least, a 90% removal?

(My doctor pauses briefly.)

Doctor: I’ll have to check with my head of department for better clarification of the matter. Where did you say you got your surgery done back in 2006?
Me: Island Hospital.
Doctor: Oh okay. Did you get your radiotherapy completed thereafter?
Me: Yeah got that done too.

(The head of department briskly walks in. Someone told me once that he’s an old Free School boy. Maybe he’s got some answers.)

HOD: What did your surgeon do? (He smiles.)
Me: Huh?
HOD: What did your neurosurgeon do in 2006?
Me: Uh…a craniotomy.
HOD: He didn’t ask for plastic surgeon first time around?
Me: No…
HOD: It has grown back and this time it is growing back rather fast. The core reason why you’re able to sit here and talk to me today is mainly because your brain as a whole is still okay, you understand? The problem is on the outside. Majority of it is resting on outside, infiltrated the bone and partially gone into your orbit and sinus. The tumor is also stretched along the surgical plain which is why you have a little lump on the top of your head right now too. For this surgery, it’s definitely a two person job; you need a neurosurgeon and plastic surgery to come in. The plastic surgeon has to open up your face and get reconstructive surgery done after that. Big surgery – at least 20 hours.
Me: Can you help explain to me the nature of this cancer? I mean could it be my diet? Lifestyle?
HOD: Chondrosarcomas are what we call embryonic cells. These cells are developed as early as when you’re in your mother’s womb. Most of these mature to become your eyes, your nose, and your teeth. And somehow these things have stayed there and over the years have become malignant. It’s got nothing to do with your diet, smoking…it’s just luck. That’s why it didn’t happen to your brother and that’s why it doesn’t often occur to anybody else.

(The HOD stares at us in silence for a brief moment.)

HOD: You know, I don’t recall your cancer being this bad. When did this first happen?
Me: In 2006.
HOD: I see. (He looks at the older files circa late Jan 2008.) Yeah, this one I remember. In the end, I honestly wouldn’t know how I’m going to open if I were to be handling your case. You need surgery. But my advice is that you need surgery done by a damn good neurosurgical team and craniofacial team. It’s gone very aggressive and you wouldn’t know if you’re going to go through 3 to 4 to 5 ops in your lifetime.

As acknowledged previously, I know for a fact that I have hit the 'jackpot' - a rare form of cancer that my oncologist remarked as, "You're the first chondrosarcoma case in Penang for 2008.". That's motivating. A guinea pig lined up for surgery in front of trainee doctors under the tender age of 25. Yes, you've probably noticed them if you walk along the corridors of our government hospitals of late. I'm not doubting these new talents as per se but I reckon in a brain op I'd rather put my last penny on the veterans, wouldn't you?

Perhaps if I dug a little deeper into the internet, I'd find a kindred soul out there who's battled this bastard of a disease. And I'd write to him or her...long letters of fascination and praise (while I still can). I shudder to think of facing anything right now...with or without surgery, it all looks bleak.

Go under the knife and I lose my right eye and the likelihood of experiencing loss of vision on my left when I undergo tomography radiation. This is due to the fact that I have done radiotherapy before in 2006. With an already weakened tissue, a void on my right eye socket and higher dosage of 'gray' (Gy) during irradiation, the oncologist mentioned that vision on my left eye could be severely affected in the long run. The current known standard of treatment for skull base chondrosarcomas is to set irradiation at 65Gy in 39 fractions - which contradicts the range 'tolerable' to our optic nerves (40-50Gy).

Another option to consider post-surgery: proton therapy. It's been known to be pinpoint and cause substantially lesser damage than the former (tomography radiation). The downside? Indicated by my doctor that unfortunately, the nearest centre to get such a deal within Asia would be off to Samsung Medical Center in Seoul, Korea or Japan.

Running through these options in my head, what would happen if I don't go into surgery within the next few weeks? My shiver at the thought of my cancer metastasizing to other organs. I don't mind being 'gung-ho' but that's pure folly!

Ogre eyed.

2008-08-15T13:20:00.004+08:00

In less than 10 days after my last maintenance post, my condition has deteriorated significantly. Thus far, all three surgeons that I've seen have informed me that surgery will only best serve to remove 80-90 percent of cancer cells.

I'm staying away from my prescribed catabolic steroids (dexamethasone) until my surgery date is confirmed. A consultation session to discuss a CT scan done recently is scheduled on the 20th of August with my neuro plastic surgeon. I am trying my utmost best to be optimistic after a receiving a slew of demoralizing remarks from my doctors; one of them indicating that there's a chance that my right eye has to go. Currently, my right eye is functioning at only 5%; the optic nerves are affected by the cancer cells pressed against them. Everything that I look at with solely my right eye is clouded in white and colourless.

Two surgical teams are to be involved; the neurosurgery team and the craniofacial team. In addition to a craniotomy, a maxillofacial surgery will be performed around the right eye and upper cheeks to allow for greater access to the tricky areas where the cancer cells are nesting.

I'd love to go technical with this blog entry but my mind feels tired these days. I'll see if there's any scans that I can put up as appendixes later on.

NOTE: Today I don't feel so alone anymore. Someone had a good heart to post this up on a chondrosarcoma blog.

UPDATE (22 AUG 2008):
Here are a few scans to share; the first being the request form from the plastic surgeon, the second being my blood sample reading and the third showing you the results of my recent CT scan.

Maintenance, again.

2008-07-31T01:08:00.000+08:00

ntsocialism is undergoing a little maintenance job. You might experience sudden downtime as I re-upload links and finish off my drafts.

Special thanks go out to ourblogtemplates.com for offering such a fine array of 3-column templates for public use. Sure does help when you're a little rusty in web authoring.

Preparing for the worst.

2008-07-16T20:34:00.004+08:00

So you got your brain scanned and you know there's definitely something wrong. What's next?

People constantly complain that they have insufficient time to go about managing their daily ordeals but when faced with dire circumstances, all of a sudden you have time! This happens in the movies, in the world of airfreight and it should ring true in your daily life. I'm almost certain that God is generous enough to allow you precious 7 days to prepare for the worst - your nine inch nail.

I hold the belief that I do not fear death. The consultation with my neurosurgeon tomorrow will be nothing more than a prep talk of what's the sad news and what's the bad news. I still have a lot of fight left in me; to serve God, to serve the people around me. Despite not fearing death, I fear the notion of being a burden to people around me. I don't think I'd cope with disability well.

Knowing that it could possibly be the end, here's a list of things I might want to do building up to the night before surgery:

1. Have I archived my CDs accordingly in chronological order?
2. Have I archived my DVDs accordingly based on genre?
3. Have I archived my mp3s accordingly in chronological order?
4. Have I made my bed?
5. Have I called up the loved ones in my life to tell them not to miss me too much?
6. Have I written my will?
7. Have I written little post-it notes to myself and hide them around the house to remind me of things I might forget post-surgery?

I look back at this list and a part of me feels downright upset. Silly, incomplete and uncalled for! If I had things my way, there's at least a dozen chapters left in me before I get robbed of a perfect ending (robbed just like everyone else). Is it wrong for me to dream of having a fairytale ending to it all?

It's back.

2008-07-13T16:15:00.012+08:00

They say medical statistics are something you should take with a pinch of salt. It has been reported that less than 18% of post-op patients with chondrosarcomas live beyond 5 years. I suffer from a rare form of chondrosarcoma on the base of the skull. Doing the math; "chondrosarcoma patients' chances of living post-op" AGAINST "rare, inoperable cancer", I feel like I'm in a Tim Burton film. In less than 3 years after my craniotomy, it has resurfaced again in a much more aggressive form.

This time around, I've loss a little of my hearing on the right ear, my peripheral vision has been affected (whenever I look sideways I see double) and clouded vision on my right eye that is likened to having cataract, although my doctor reiterated that it isn't the case. The clouded vision I am experiencing is the result of the tumour pressing against my optic nerves. And oh yes, my eyes are bulging out a little too. All this actually doesn't surprise me because I knew at some point of time I'd definitely have to revisit this problem. What I naturally didn't want is for health problems to occur when I've just started to pick up the pieces from my last battle with it.

My next brain scan will be on Wednesday. To what extent the cancer cell has damaged will be posted thereafter.

Bike craving.

2008-07-08T01:15:00.002+08:00

Yeah I know, I know. I haven't posted in ages.
Nothing wrong with your friendly neighbourhood blogger taking some time out, yeah?

While you wait for me to get out of writers' block, here's a picture of something that you might want to get your hands on. Oh I love consumerism. The new 125cc Yamaha Fino. Last time I checked, it's only available to people in Thailand and countries that allow imports; e.g: Singapore. This very customisable scooter is retailing at approximately MYR 4,500.00.

Booyashaka!

Viddy me this! Sigur Rós - 'Gobbledigook'.

2008-05-28T22:37:00.002+08:00

I haven't got my advanced copy yet but things are looking mighty swell from here.

Presenting the new Sigur Rós video for 'Gobbledigook'. Yeah sure the song title feels slightly archaic against the poster boys of modern post-rock/experimental rock but who are we to say "ixnay" to old-fashioned nudists?

The cover for Sigur Rós - Gobbledigook.

Unlike MTV and Channel [V], who consistently tell you to check out some "really cool videos", I suggest that you ask for parental guidance when viewing this video. The band has seemingly departed from their usual guise of mild-mannered Scandinavian art rockers - here they sound like they're trying to really have fun. With this reintroduction and a new direction, could we still be expecting album of the year in the cards? Get it in quicktime format by streaming from their website or through a whoppin' 49MB download here.

And here are some snapshots to get you started (NSFW, mouseover to see actual image):

__________________________________________________

Album cover photogrpahy for 'Með Suð Í Eyrum Við Spilum Endalaust'

Don't forget! Their new album 'Með Suð Í Eyrum Við Spilum Endalaust' ('With a Buzz in Our Ears We Play Endlessly') produced by one-man show Trent Reznor and good ol' Flood will be out this late June 2008. It also adorns a nice album cover with nudists on it. I shall not try to outsmart you. More details available at wikipedia. Looking at the new album cover, one cannot help but wonder, "...lads, will there be an alternate cover for the Asian market?"

Thanks to GvsBear for the heads up!

Disc & Dat: The demise of an institution.

2008-05-25T15:50:00.005+08:00

Some say a visit to a record store and especially an independent one etches an everlasting memory in your childhood and it is always one you hold dear to even when you hit middle-age crisis. Nothing beats the feel of listening to a CD in a record store; showing off to that chick in the corner that's flicking through the R&B archives. Independent record stores offer you the opportunity to be a rock star for a few moments while you're there. Now as the final pages turn for Penang's finest independent record store, I feel desolate as though an institution filled with dreams, ideas and of emotions have suddenly shut me out.

The last independent music store in Penang, Disc & Dat, closes its door permanently this June 2008. This is a sad moment for music enthusiasts in the island state of Penang. I recollect many fond memories spending my weekends browsing through records in Disc & Dat. I can't really remember how many pristine records I've bought from the shop. I had a weird hobby of keeping my CDs in mint condition (yes I buy and STORE them accordingly under room temperature).

As I glimpse through the photos taken before the imminent closure, tears roll down my face. I asked myself "Where will the indie kids get inspiration after this? Where will the next melting pot for music critics be? Where will lovers find their soul food? Where will their savings go to? Arcade games? Clubbing? Bowling?".
_______________________________________________

A week ago, I visited Disc & Dat to check out the rumoured 'Stock Clearance Sale' everyone from Gertak Sanggul to to Teluk Bahang was talking about. The usual baritone voice of Mr. Ivan Gooi, the shop owner, greets me with that evergreen smile. Humility and courtesy, it seems, isn't a sight often seen or heard of in today's music retail chains. Call me a snobbish customer but I don't recall a moment in time when I actually felt at home shopping at HMV or Tower Records.

Today's local music retailing business is wrecked and shot in the foot by the very soul of the music industry; the high school and college kids. Akin to what I've noticed in Singapore, almost every child in their teens holsters an iPod in his/her jacket. Held back with disappointment, Ivan informed me that due to that, business wasn't as smooth as before. Salvaging the mission by clearing off his stock would the best possible ending he could think of. Coping with meagre-like earnings isn't something independent music stores can defend themselves from. Learn to steal while you're young so they're told.

Call him stubborn but Ivan has always held high regard and praises for his clients. He rarely orders locally pressed discs and instead chooses to bring in imported DVDs (for his DVD rental corner) and foreign pressed CDs (Japan imports and US/EU imports). To his discerning customers and 'sometimes hobbyists', this is fondly appreciated and often told to him that for an islander to walk into the store, it is likened to a kid walking into a candy store. The outstanding service one experiences in Disc & Dat is a mere hindsight after championing the independent record store against all odds for over 14 years.

Disc & Dat's indie/rock music section. More than meets the eye...

Ivan's DVD rental section...it's very nice...

Oh yes, he does 'old school' too...laser discs for sale!

Limited and boxed sets are protected from the elements.

Ask any hardcore film buff and he'd tell you that if counterfeit copies aren't available uphill in Batu Ferringhi, why not get the premium via Disc & Dat's DVD rental service? Options aplenty is the name of the game for Ivan stocks up his foreign films like nobody's business! Ivan offers import versions of films that have escaped the pirated DVD trader's radar as well as the mainstream ones.

Alas, even with a legion of regulars, business couldn't be sustained and it was forced into closure due to the financial state of things after a consistent 5 years' worth of drop in sales. Ivan still feels happy to have played a part in enriching the lives of the people in Penang. Ask him if he feels closer to being Rob Gordon, the main character in the movie 'High Fidelity' today than when he started, he humbly replies in his natural British accent, "...of course I'll never be as good as him...he's fictional!".

Me : Everyone knows you here!
Ivan : I've been in the business for a very long time! It's just that some people are not bothered. The business has been here for 14 years. I've watched you guys grow up! Some of my old customers walk in today with their kids and their wives. Believe it or not, there's must have tons of people who have been here and made a purchase or two that changed their lives. Students who burn the midnight oil for exams. Lovers. Artists. Poets. Bloggers.

(I nodded in agreement.)

Ivan : All good things have to end eventually.
Me : Yeah, naturally that's how the universe works but hopefully not on a sad note. I hope you eventually get to clear off your remaining stocks.
Ivan : That my friend is utterly impossible. I have a whole stack of singles which has not seen the light of day since it was shipped in!
Me : Ok, let's say if you only have a balance of ten to twenty percent left in stock in late June, will that be good enough for you?
Ivan : Gosh, that would be a miracle. And I could sell off the balance online.
Me (grinning) : Hehe...oh yeah...
Ivan : But there won't be much left. What's left would be pure rubbish. The ten ringgit ones, the pop albums, the one album wonders.

(Jack Johnson plays in the background)

Me : Ok lame spot question time. If you had to pick three albums right now from your store that you totally will not want to sell off even to your most loyal customer, what would those titles be?

(We were briefly interrupted by a disc player malfunction.)

Ivan : When you close down a business, shit tends to breakdown at a rapid rate around you.
Me : Haha!! Ok let us go back to those three albums you'd never sell.
Ivan : Hmm...I can't specifically name any but it'll likely be the albums from the trance music section. I think some may have already been purchased. Hmm, tricky question here to list favourites out, yeah?
Me : Exactly. Lame spot question time. (smiled)
Ivan : Well, for the company, I can't really say no to any customer especially during these times. I can only deter by possibly offering lower discounts. I am very fond of the British music scene...albums from Portishead.
Me : 'Third', the new album?
Ivan : Didn't get the new one. I've stopped ordering. Anyway, Massive Attack is another act I won't sell cheap. And a few British scene bands.
Me : You have an immaculate collection of those I agree.
Ivan : What I rarely listen to are female singers with the exception of Tori Amos and Kathryn Williams. And compilations too...I usually prefer to listen album by album.

This box of CDs could be yours for a fraction of the original price!

The camera shy Mr. Ivan Gooi with his iconic hairdo, flipping through some CDs he probably won't sell cheap to you.

Disc & Dat (established in April 1994 and closes down in June 2008) will no longer be here in Penang but many of us will always remember the magnitude of joy after scoring 5-inches worth of CDs we've been pestering Ivan to reserve. I think it will take some time to swallow the fact that an institution has gone and thus leaving many good tunes going unnoticed.

_______________________________________________

Here are a few more shots taken yesterday evening:

Disc & Dat (Add: 125G Desa Tanjung, Jalan Tanjung Tokong, 10470 Penang / Tel: 6-04-8990864) will remain open (except for Mondays) until the 3rd or 4th week of June 2008. Ivan will be offering 20-50% discounts on selected titles so please feel free to drop by.

Schweeet!: Burmah Road Honey Lo Han Kuo.

2008-05-05T21:46:00.005+08:00

If you display a fondness for sweet concoctions, I have just the recommendation for you. This is nothing new to the islanders for it has been around for ages, circa 1970 to be exact. Tattered yet comfy, this roadside stall in the form of a rickshaw has been in operation for many years; delighting nearby residents and faraway visitors with the delicious and VERY cheap (MYR 1.00) 'honey lo han kuo' (a form of Chinese herbal beverage).

The roadside makeshift stall is owned by Mr. & Mrs. Lok. They have been actively trading since the early 70s when they first set up their business along Magazine Road. After a few years, in 1976, they then relocated to where it stands today, Burmah Road, where they enjoy a healthy stream of regulars from nearby office buildings salivating for a taste of their version of 'honey lo han kuo' after a hard days' work.

Its contents consist of nata de coco (jelly), a scoop of white fungus, a few dragon balls (longans) and some small starch beads. When asked about her famous herbal drink, she offered me a little tip that, "...it's a home-made recipe...nothing fancy...you just gotta wake up a little early to prepare it to match the customer's expectations."

Small swarms of non-poisonous/non-attacking bees often mingle about here and the numbers intensify as the durian session draws closer. But the more bees show up, the more customers turn up too. After interviewing Mrs. Lok, she says that with the current trend of food prices going up, business isn't as fruitful as before and they've actually had to absorb losses in certain areas and also due to the hefty cost of chrysanthemum flowers, they were forced to stop selling chrysanthemum tea altogether since 2008. She is however grateful for the community's support and never fails throw customers aback with her delicate 'Annie Lennox-like' smile even when it's a friggin' hot sunny day.

The roadside stall is located just beside the Union Primary School, a few metres from a 7-Eleven convenience store. Its opened daily from 1200 hours - 2200 hours (except for Sundays).

Run, run, run!

2008-04-30T18:55:00.001+08:00

The Malaysian People's Justice Party (Tanjung Division) will be organising the inaugural 'People's Harmony Run' (Larian Harmoni Rakyat) to foster harmonious relationships among people of various racial backgrounds here in Penang. The run will also be used as a platform to cultivate anti-racism and progressiveness which would be more than welcome after 50 years of independence.

The 4.5 kilometer run will be held on the 11th of May 2008 (Sunday) from 0630 hours - 0900 hours. Participants are expected to jog from the Penang City Council Building (Esplanade) to Church Street. Interested parties may inquire or register themselves through committee members Shafiz (017-467 3844), Arafath (012-579 0191), Azlan (012-576 4369), Wah Chew (012-405 9145) or Huay Yeow (012-519 9168).

Hurry up and register. Limited places available; 500 to be exact!

John Legend covers U2's 'Pride (In The Name of Love)'.

2008-04-25T22:10:00.007+08:00

Let me suggest something to do today since you have your ass sinked so deep in your chair.

Go watch John Legend's beautiful acoustic cover of U2's 'Pride (In The Name of Love)' here. Legend's contribution is part of a 2 hour TV special, 'KING', marking the fortieth anniversary of the assassination of Martin Luther King. It will be aired on the History Channel on Sunday, 27 APR 2008.

Feel like traveling home after a hard day's work with that John Legend cover tune to rock your iPod? Yeah with all the inspirational quotes from MLK himself. Here's your mp3 link (fixed volume levels from earlier mp3 post).

Image taken from The Enquirer.

Bangkok. - Day 05.

2008-04-03T18:00:00.001+08:00

After countless sleepless nights, it all has to come to an end. But could another chapter be opening soon? The taxi driver was slated to pick us up at 5 in the morning. I was disheartened but thankful for being given the opportunity to visit this remarkable city for the first time with so much yet to unravel!

The cab service from Lub'd to the airport costs approximately 400 baht in the morning. 300 baht is for the cab and the remaining 80 baht was for toll payment and 20 baht was sneaked into my driver's hand as a token of gratitude for waking up early (or staying up late?).

Bangkok lives up to its name as a 'City of a Thousand Smiles'. Summarising my first Bangkok experience in a few blog entries just doesn't feel adequate. It's only been mere 4 days since I left its Suvarnabhumi international airport, but I've already started to miss the diversity that Bangkok has to offer for art-enthusiasts/art-manipulators everywhere in the world.

Bangkok. - Day 04.

2008-03-29T23:49:00.001+08:00

As each day progresses, I've slowly lost the ability to walk distances over 5 miles, partly due to the fact that my damaged medial malleolus doesn't seem to be able to withstand long walks without proper cushioning. Yeah, my Lacoste shoes don't really do the job, they're just there for style.

Plans were laid out to get out into the streets for some bargain shopping on Day 4. To get to the Chatuchak weekend market I got down at the Mo Chak BTS station and walked about a mile amongst expatriates and pennywise locals who want to get the best bang for their buck. The market houses about 10 blocks' worth of EVERYTHING from antique furniture to counterfeit Karl Lagerfields. Anything that your imagination can conjure up, Chatuchak will most probably have it, ON SALE, that day. I was constantly persuaded by these very shoddy-looking Thai teenagers and minimally-garbed Thai ladies to ransack their booth and name my price for the item that I have selected. Perhaps it's because I look sort of local to them. I felt so localised that I chortled at an expatriate that, right in front of my eyes, bought for his family a fake Tag Heuer watch at 4,000 Thai baht. I've seen slaughter but that was way too exorbitant!

Here are some shots taken on that day:

More to follow...

Bangkok. - Day 03.

2008-03-29T23:20:00.010+08:00

Music: The Cardigans - ~~Deuce~~ (click to download)

So what happened in day 3?

A beginner's guide to Bangkok reads like this: learn up on its transportation system (as what most people would naturally have to do in major cities), get a decent living space, shower and/or get ample rest and then visit the Wats (temples)!

The long journey to King Ramathibodi I's Ayutthaya, former city of Thailand started at six in the morning. For those who didn't know, Ayutthaya housed the King and his servants in Thailand before then King Taksin strategically made Thonburi the next capital city after falling into defeat against the Burmese army. Thonburi, then eventually merged with Bangkok in 1972. The ruins in Ayutthaya today serve as a unique storyteller of what was Thailand in its prime.

Weather was expectedly savagely warm even in the wee hours of the morning. It is an important thing that you equip yourselves with at least two 1.5 litres of water if you are exploring the temples as you are expected to walk around for hours around the old city and free to snap pictures. Tired bodies and tired minds fret not! There are many stalls selling local delicacies and quick fixes to those who are thirsty.

Upon arrival, my group joined another in a briefing hosted by this old Thai gentleman, Mr. Pok (presumably a nickname of his). Mr. Pok fluently narrated the tale of Ayutthaya and Int into detail by informing us the use of the 'stupa's (storages), 'chedi's (temples) and 'prang's (tall temples). It is to be noted that some of them were Sri Lankan and Burmese in its design. Overall, I stopped over four different sites including Wat Phu Khao Thong, where stands the statue commemorating King Naresuan and his passion for fighting cocks.

Here are few pictures taken of the historical monuments:

The many pictures I snapped during our visit to the ruins resulted in images that I more inferior in quality when I stopped over Bang Pa-In Palace, the former royal palace occupied by King Prasat Thong and then after the fall of Ayutthaya, revived by King Mongkut.

I was dead thirsty and flat out tired before the tour came to an end. The damage to my pockets for this day tour? MYR 150.00 per head. I basically checked out in the evening from The Residence without a shower in hours. Now, that may be nothing to some but it was extremely hot that whole afternoon so I was sweating like a pig and a refreshing bath was more than welcome at that time! I moved next to Lub'd.

Lub'd Bangkok is a wonderful hostel located 15 minutes by foot from the Chong Nonsi BTS station. To make up for its walking distance, Lub'd offers a relaxing ambiance for a hostel in the city area. This is complemented with a stunning aesthetics that likens it to chic European hostels. A very warm and jovial hostel administration crew made my visit even more memorable! Free internet usage, a bargain offering bar and a 'theatre room' was a big bonus too. I spent that night talking to two other tourists; one from Switzerland and another from Sydney, Australia. Staying on the 4th floor, I guess the only flaw was that it didn't have an elevator. (I suppose they wanted to be consume less energy for the benefit of Mother Earth?)

Rates at Lub'd Bangkok are as follows:
1. Dormitory (mixed and sharing bathroom) - 650 baht per bed
2. Lud'd Ladies' Dorimitory (ladies only & sharing bathroom) - 750 baht per bed
3a. Railway Twin Room - 1,300 baht per room (one person)
3b. Private Room & sharing bathroom - 1,600 baht per room (two persons)
4a. Lub'd Double Room - 1,700 per room (one person)
4b. Private Room with bathroom - 2,000 per room (two persons)

Rates indicated here are inclusive of 7% VAT.

More to follow...

Bangkok. - Day 02.

2008-03-28T23:15:00.016+08:00

Day 02:

I've mentioned in the last post that Bangkok is a shopper's haven which offers even better value than what you'd experience in Singapore. A whole day's worth of strolling around the city centre certainly proved that assessment.

After braving the crowds at the Ratchathewi BTS station, I arrived at the Pantip Plaza. Pantip Plaza is filled with very cheap electronic goods possibly due to similarities to Singapore (Bangkok has a port). An excursion downtown to Chit Lom and I found a retro cinema, obscure collectors item shops and some really hip footwear.

I was adamant to get a hold of my own brand new Holga 120 CFN at The Loft, Bangkok because it is unavailable in Penang and scarce in Kuala Lumpur. If I had a jackload of money, I would have purchased a Diana+ and a Lomo LC-A too!

ABOUT THE HOLGA
-----------------------
What Holga customers need to know is that film processing in Malaysia for medium-format film is a rare find. Your chances are definitely better if you reside in Kuala Lumpur but even then, you'd still have to consider the hefty price you'd have to churn out for prints, thanks to your expensive hobby. I, for one, have customized my Holga to snap on 35mm rolls. Go check out the man with the plan, squarefrog for more tips via YOUTUBE or website.

I am posting pictures of the camera itself here although I purchased it on Day 4. I actually pondered whether it'll be a great buy or otherwise. End of the day - my hobby got the better of me....

Here are some other random pictures taken on Day 2:

More to follow...

Bangkok. - Day 01.

2008-03-27T23:00:00.010+08:00

Writing about my trip to Bangkok for the very first time, I realised as a Malaysian, Bangkok could serve to be a whole new experience. Throw your assumptions away; this ain't no Hadyai and this ain't no Singapore. It has to be noted that Bangkok is chaotically beautiful. You have everything that a city should be and then some. You have the key ingredients that make a lively city, with many avenues to venture into; from neon-lit massage parlours to ancient temples.

On expenditures, well, initially this post was supposed to be called 'How To Not Exceed Spending MYR 1500.00' in Bangkok. That is a misjudgment; that I could actually get by living in Bangkok for 5 days and 4 nights without spending a single cent on anything that has to do with arts. Resistance is futile when you're in the culturally rich capital city of Thailand. For afficiados of fine dining and/or culinary arts, you should be careful as Bangkok restaurants do charge a premium rate for all things glam. Whenever possible you should avoid posh-looking restaurants if your budget does not permit for it.

When it comes to shopping, Bangkok is exploding with the old, the new and all things blue. Not blue like porno blue but to shoppers who want to get customized threads or apparels, you can either head on down to the famous Chatuchak weekend market or The Loft at the Siam Discovery Center which appeals to aspiring Asian designers and insatiable shopaholics as a whole.

On transport, getting around the city via the BTS Skytrain also helped ease the cost while I was there but beginners should take heed to study the city map extensively before embarking on a budget trip as you would want to avoid taking the tuk-tuks after certain hours. Taxis are pretty much feasible only if you intend to go into Patpong for the infamous sex shows (because they're getting paid commission through the joint owners anyway) or if you're heading to the airport in the early hours of the morning (i'd like to think they like to charge cheap for their first customer of the day/last customer of the day)

NB: Usual rule applies. Kindly click on the clickable images for a hi-res view.
_______________________________________________________

DAY 01:

After many years of holding back on visiting the sin city of Asia, I finally took up the courage to head up north, packed with a budget most seasoned travelers would comment as ridicule. The first two nights were planned for The Residence, located along Petchburi Road. It's a fairly good hotel but I can't say much for its room design.

The latter part of the day was spent at the Siam Paragon oogling at culinary delights ranging from Vietnamese and Thai dishes to bite-sized confectioneries. These young Thai bakers leave no stone unturned as they weave through a colourful array of ideas for their sumptuous cake confections!

=================

Here are a few other random shots taken on DAY 1:

More to follow...

I am that dark corner.

2008-03-19T18:02:00.009+08:00

Music: Explosions In The Sky - ~~With Tired Eyes, Tired Minds, Tired Souls, We Slept (Peel Sessions, 2002-09-18)~~ (click to download)

This is a song I wrote to thank someone who showed up out of nowhere in my life and brightened it up.

Someone showed me the darkest corners of the heart.
That dark corner was me, after months of anguish and despair.
I became the hollow...
...doorsteps away from the point of no return.

Or so I thought.

A beacon of light no more than a flicker,
With nowhere else to navigate, I sailed...
My heart was without hope,
Frozen from a cold past.

Shivering and in death,
I floated for awhile,
Rise up, rise up!
Smell the flowers while you can,
You make me feel that I could be a better man.

I'm no longer a dark corner today,
With our hands are tied together come what may,
My eyes say it slowly when I am close to you,
You're the reason to sail on.

Juwita Suwito in Penang!

2008-03-16T10:50:00.005+08:00

Catch Juwita Suwito perform live at Penang Trinity on Saturday March 29, 2008. The concert is expected to start at 7:30 p.m. Backed by a live band, the 2-time Malaysian Idol vocal coach and winner of AIM's Best English Album 2005 will perform with fellow label-mate Liang who has stormed Malaysian airwaves since 2005 with his fun Hip Hop album "8oz of Soul".

Admission is free, just bring a printed copy of the concert postcard! Download the ready-for-print flyers (front and back leaflet) or here (zipped format).

For more information, email office@penangtrinity.org or call 04-8287445.

Watch their videos here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtuVikcv_7w
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxjYFLtitgI

Just another victim, kid.

2008-03-16T09:50:00.013+08:00

Fellow blogger, 'MRftB' tagged me the other day. Yes, it's an abbreviation because she knows that I am very protective of her by nature. What better way to respond to these things than to expand with answers to questions you've always wanted to post up but never had the guts to.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here goes nuthin':

BASICS

First name: Brendan.
Nickname: Rocco. Yeah, like the Italian stallion.
Name u wish u had: Victorian-era British names. Alistair or Trevor would be nice.
Birthday: Binary codes 1101.
Birthplace: Penang.
Time of birth: Somewhere in the afternoon between 1300-1500hrs.
Single or taken: Single.
Zodiac sign: Scorpio.

YOUR APPEARANCE

How tall are you: 188 cm which translates to 6 feet 1 inches.
Wish u were taller: Nope, but I wish I was 20 pounds slimmer.
Eye colour: Dark brown.
Eye colour you want: Blue? Is that doable? *looks at reflection on monitor*
Natural hair colour: Dark brown.
Current hair colour: Dark brown.
Short or long hair: Butched.
Ever dyed your hair a bizarre colour: Peroxided it when I was in high school but then again who didn't back then?
Curly, straight or wavy hair: If it's long enough, it'd be straight.
Last time u did something dramatic with your hair: Took me guts to make it happen but after years of maintaining a neat business-like hairdo, I decided to go for the chop when I was 23 years old.
Glasses or contacts: Glasses. Apparently chicks dig the geeky look.
Do you wear make-up: No.
Ever had hair extensions: No.
Paint your nails: No.

THE OTHER GENDER

So what would be my ideal choice for a partner...hmm...

What colour of eyes: No preference.
What colour of hair: No preference.
Shy or outgoing: It depends. I wouldn't want to date someone who shuns away from a challenging night out.
Looks or personality: Looks! Looks! Looks! Naw, just kiddin'.
Sexy or cute: Can I say smart? Not too funky-looking...
Serious or fun: Fun to be with and serious in her opinions on matters.
Older or younger: I have absolutely no idea how to answer this.
Turn on: Passionate as a lover and intellectual as a friend.
Turn off: Diva-esque behaviour, lack of appreciation towards the arts, passiveness...

36 RANDOM THINGS ABOUT YOU

36. I've stopped believing in fairytales but hoping for a miracle.
35. I loved coffee and cigarettes. Now, I'm reprimanded for drinking tea.
34. I love dogs...even those that bark all the time.
33. I dislike cats.
32. Horror films make my day.
31. I have a need to exercise daily otherwise those dinners you invite me to would be automatically rejected.
30. It takes me an average of 3 days to reply lengthy emails from close friends.
29. I believe that women make lousy managers.
28. I think men can be egoistic bastards.
27. If I was born a female, I would have been a slut.
26. I love dancing, although I'm not really good at it.
25. I don't feel comfortable with the people in my Church.
24. I like to collect movie and CD artwork posters...the HUGE ones!
23. I rarely drink alcohol.
22. I've was murdered a cat when I was 9 years old...drowned it.
21. I've committed a theft when I was 9 years old...it was a M.A.S.K. action figure.
20. I think Vespas and Piaggios rock!
19. I try not to keep in touch with ex-girlfriends in fear of hearing of their success in life.
18. I have a hard time waking up in the morning.
17. When I was a teenager, I wish I was Ethan Hawke playing the character named 'Troy' from 'Reality Bites'.
16. Now I wish I was 'Jessie' that Hawke played in 'Before Sunset'.
15. I like repetitive techno sounds.
14. I think I'm pretty good in geography.
13. Although I'll NEVER admit to it outside my journal, I used to listen to NKOTB a lot before I entered high school.
12. I've hardly read the newspaper ever since I had my broadband service installed.
11. I hate them emo kids and their emo hair.
10. Contrary to unpopular belief, I am not that attracted to women nor am I attractive to them.
09. Thick-framed reading glasses and cigarette smokin' women turn me on.
08. I love reading books but I've been lagging in my reading of late.
07. 'Ash Wednesday' by Ethan Hawke is my fondest literary purchase of all time!
06. Poison of choice: Kilkenny's or Guinness.
05. I believe that the sexiest women in the world (given a proper diet) would hail from Iceland.
04. I would love to travel to Paris, Reykjavik and Berlin (in that particular order).
03. I may be a slob at home but I'm organised at work!
02. I'm easy to be friends with.
01. I'm not a self-absorbed person; that explains the duration it took for me to finish this!

Most people who frequent this blog would chortle at the fact that I posted such a trivial thing in my blog. But I'm happy to say that just for today, I feel like dropping the snobbishness a wee bit just to cater for a brand new me.

My thoughts on Malaysia's 12th General Election.

2008-03-08T11:07:00.016+08:00

The sun rises over my beloved island.

Music: Foo Fighters - ~~Times Like These~~ (click to download)

Today, 3 March 2008, marks another day or should I kindly put it, another chance for all Malaysians to cast their vote on who they think should lead this country for the next half a decade.

After enduring half a century through hope, the fires have been stifled and instead of coming out champs, the nation is now facing a crisis after falling away in all aspects (from education to trade) against other ASEAN countries. Huge segments of Malays and minorities thought they've earned their stripes but it was not to be. This is what aggravates the thoughts of hardworking citizens here. An evidently corrupted government and an utterly flawed system that indirectly supports racial discrimination, the fall we Malaysians experience today shouldn't be tolerated anymore as we cast our votes as early as eight in the morning.

For the past fortnight or so, many Malaysians have had first-hand experience with the dirty politics that have been omnipresent every time the ruling coalition, Barisan Nasional, calls for a major election. Everywhere I look, there is no fair election in sight. However, looking on the bright side, I am honestly very pleased to see unity amongst races when I've attended several talks organised by the opposition parties namely, Parti Keadilan Rakyat (PKR), led by our former deputy Prime Minister Dato' Seri Anwar bin Ibrahim. Some people around me who aren't Muslims were even in tears and when asked they told me that it is a profoundly humbling sight to see this form of unity without loyalty to parties (i.e: Chinese community voting for MCA, Gerakan and Indians voting for MIC ).

Moving forward with a change is what everyone should seek for. There is nothing to lose by throwing the opposition party some support. They are passionate about the nation so I think these people deserve some credit for their fresh vision of a better tomorrow.

I executed my vote at 0820 hours. Have you?

UPDATE @ 9 Mar, 0300hrs: The opposition parties have emerged victorious in Penang, Kedah, Kelantan, Perak and Selangor!

Parliamentary candidates from opposition parties have also gained a good number of votes to represent the nation although inadequate enough to form a new government (Barisan Nasional 62%, Opposition 37%). Barisan Nasional, the ruling coalition will remain in power with a crippled MIC (Malaysian Indian Congress). I sincerely hope that the opposition parties will put in a few good Indian candidates for some seats in the Parliament.

Guess we shouldn't be hearing a lot of generic political speeches from Barisan Nasional anytime soon. Here's to a balanced and united Malaysia!

Explosions In The Sky in Kuala Lumpur.

2008-02-21T01:10:00.009+08:00

Nothing was going to stop me from catching Explosions In The Sky perform live in front of an ecstatic crowd in the heart of Kuala Lumpur. The band brought me such good memories in a time when I almost stopped believing in life.

Jet lag didn't affect EITS much that night. Munaf gave a brief speech before proceeding with a 90-minute performance with virtually no breaks in between! How is that for hardcore?

Here are some shots from where I was standing:

The unannounced setlist for the night was as follows:
1. First Breath After Coma
2. Welcome, Ghosts
3. With Tired Eyes, Tired Minds, Tired Souls, We Slept
4. Song For Our Fathers
5. Greet Death
6. Your Hand In Mine
7. Memorial
8. Yasmin The Light
9. Catastrophe And The Cure
10. The Only Moment We Were Alone

I was left to think of how the gig might have went if they managed to sneak in some songs from 'The Rescue'. A host of people in the back were whispering "I hope they play 'The Long Spring'..." but their wishes faded in the screams of adoration of Malaysian and Singaporean fans; some having traveled a few hundred miles just to catch a glimpse of these post-rock geniuses at play. There was no encore and after consulting my friend Azan, he reminded me that the band rarely do encores as their set lists are meant to be continuous and a riveting experience. The band did look worn out towards the end but large sections of the crowd were forgiving.

In a swift move to patch things up with the fans, the band allowed for an autographing session. Take a look at these lucky gentlemen who managed to squeeze in a dash of ink or two from the band!

What a very memorable night at Ruums Bar, KL. What a passionate and intense showmanship displayed by these Texan rockers! A huge THANK YOU to the key organisers and legion of fans who flocked together to make the night a memorable music event!

...and I'm off to see EITS!

2008-02-19T11:39:00.005+08:00

Music: Lenny Kravitz - ~~Fly Away~~ (click to download)

I'm psyched out as I head over to Kuala Lumpur to catch a date with Explosions In The Sky! I'll see if there are any Kodak moments tonight to capture on film.

Chinese New Year, 2008.

2008-02-10T03:30:00.000+08:00

Oh what a busy week it has been! Just wanted to wish all friends and family a happy and prosperous Chinese New Year; the year of the rat.

Just wanted to share these memorable shots taken in the past few days:

E-GATE GATHERING (Starbucks)

UPPER PENANG ROAD GATHERING (Sega Fredo & Red Garden)

PENANG FREE SCHOOL REUNION (Torch Bistro & Pub)

Explosions In The Sky to play Malaysia!

2008-01-31T12:31:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, it pays to complain. Looks like Kuala Lumpur will host Explosions In The Sky!!!

Just moments ago, a friend of mine dispatched an announcement on these fine Texan post-rock geniuses heading to Kuala Lumpur for a gig. All this was of course expected; like it was an eleventh-hour agreement. But that wouldn't deter me from celebrating over lunch today how my February 2008 will be a month filled with celebrations from start to finish!

Tickets, tickets!

Let's run over the details for this gig. Explosions In The Sky (EITS) is slated to perform at Ruums Club, Kuala Lumpur on the 19th of February 2008. Performance will begin at 2100 hours (9 pm) and there will be no supporting band for this show. Tickets will be sold at MYR 110.00 from fine Rock Corner outlets or at the club premises itself. I expect tickets to be sold like hot cakes by the first week of February through word of mouth alone.

Penang's own indie darlings, WhiteLight, is noted to have confirmed their attendance. I guess we shall be seeing a lot of local celebrities during that night. Nice...

Update (4 Feb 2008): Malaysia can put faith in getting more quality international acts to perform in our shores soon thanks to the collaboration of Arianna Teoh (Arianna Event Management) and Alan Chan (Galaxy Group).

Mosaic Music Festival 2008.

2008-01-11T23:24:00.001+08:00

Music: Broken Social Scene - ~~Anthems For A Seventeen Year-Old Girl~~ (click to download)

Here we go again. Another year, another big act performs in the art-thriving land of Singapore. Broken Social Scene are slated to perform at the Esplanade on the 9th of March 2008 (Sunday) in corroboration with the annual 'Mosaic Music Festival'. Tickets are priced from SGD $58, SGD $88 and SGD $118.

The 'Mosaic Music Festival' will take place from the 7th to the 16th of March, boasting sheer quality in numbers as renowned artists ranging from Ferns (from Malaysia!), Fujiya & Miyagi, Harry Connick, Jr., Lee Ritenour, múm, Sondre Lerche and the bird and the bee will all take their bows in front of an almost certain packed house.

Malaysians, like myself, sadly, will once again painstakingly save up their monthly allowance and make that half-yearly visit down south. There is a sensation that buzzes through one's nerves knowing that almost every sane artist out there is skipping Malaysia for one obvious reason. It is sensitive and almost forbidden for me to elaborate because I have nothing but contempt for people who fail who bring these acts into our country.

Tuk Azan presents: Support Your Local Indie Scene / Vol. 1.

2008-01-11T01:11:00.001+08:00

Once a month, NTSOCIAL, with the support of Tuk Azan of 'Fitter. Happier. More Productive' will attempt to put a smile on every Malaysian indie music afficiado. It's absolutely arrogant to dismiss the hidden treasures of our South East Asian music industry and it has become my pleasure to showcase a handful of favourites you'd be mistaken to dismiss. A big thank you to Tuk Azan and Tuan Jin for making these songs available!

Let us start off with the essentials in alphabetical order. Put these 'local' indie darlings into your pocket!

1. Bittersweet - ~~Kucing Hitam~~ (3:33)
2. Butterfingers - ~~The Chemistry (Between Us)~~ (5:52)
3. Carburetor Dung - ~~Boo Hoo Clapping Song~~ (5:36)
4. Goodnight Electric - ~~Bedroom Avenue~~ (2:59)
5. Meet Uncle Hussain - ~~La La La Kerjalaaaa~~ (4:06)
6. Meet Uncle Hussain - ~~Lagu Untukmu~~ (3:40)
7. O.A.G. - ~~60's TV~~ (3:37)
8. Teenage Death Star - ~~I Got Johhny In My Head~~ (2:37)
9. White Shoes & The Couples Company - ~~Senandung Maaf~~ (4:03)
10. Zeke and the Popo - ~~i Novel~~ (5:45)

Private party for New Year's Day.

2008-01-01T13:51:00.001+08:00

New Year's celebration at Cubar, Penang.

Note to self on 1 Jan 2008.

2008-01-01T13:17:00.001+08:00

Music: Editors - ~~Escape The Nest~~ (click to download)

There are times when I wish that I could be strangers with Penang. Wouldn't it be nice to have a case of dyslexia and forget about the people, the places, the streets, the little crevices that make the island. Soon enough, I will leave this country like an alien - rejected by its stepmother. Being a Malaysian Chinese, I virtually have no place in this country to create changes as my job is merely to initiate continuous suckage off it. A parasite some may say. But years before this, my ancestors were known to symbiosis specialists. How times have changed after 50 years of independence.

I have a few destinations in mind; first there's Vietnam. And then there's neighbouring Singapore. Not much to choose from, is it? Either way I go, I wouldn't know if there's any good prospects out there. But I have to fight on. Fight on the good fight. What else would I be doing if not to struggle for financial independence? More than a handful of people have always intrigued me with Vietnam; where it's all happening next in this region. See the world while you're still healthy and sane, they say.

As cliché as it may sound, God has never once wavered in His plans for me. I've completed almost everything that I've planned out for in 2007 despite some turbulent times. Whatever the case, I've been blessed to have experience so much this year. It could have a major effect on what's to happen in 2008.

Thank you blog readers for your wonderful support for the past 12 months. Forgive me in kind if there has been any errors on my part. May the year ahead bring glory, love and everything that's nice in your lives.

Gavlina visits Penang!

2007-12-30T11:02:00.001+08:00

Music: Ultra Orange & Emmanuelle - ~~Don't Kiss Me Goodbye~~ (click to download)
(Thanks to Yen Shing and Javier C.!)

Gavin and Selina are now officially engaged!

Here's a host of other pictures taken during their recent tour of Penang:

It's the bat, not the man.

2007-12-20T21:17:00.001+08:00

Rich. Yes, filthy rich I am.

I've got an eye, an eye for red devil lye!

Mirror, mirror on the wall...who's the gayest of them all?

...yes, little by little...theatrical posters surface. But does it suffice?

If you're waiting in suspense for a taste of Christopher Nolan's 2nd gig as the director of the Batman franchise in 'The Dark Knight', look no further and go to this website. Trailer is finally out!

"You, me, 5 bucks, good conversation?"

2007-12-20T13:15:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas to y'all!

2007-12-18T20:15:00.001+08:00

Music: Velvet Underground - ~~Beginning To See The Light (Live At Max's Kansas City)~~ (click to download)

This Christmas I recollect all the experiences added to my life. Withstanding problems aside, I still feel proud to have Him in my life. I'm really still a baby, walking through the first steps of being in Christ. To those I have offended, I ask for forgiveness and may the Lord bless you a thousand fold for putting up with my rants and raves at times. To those who have been fondly missed friends (you know who y'are), I hope the road leads back to a junction whereby we can embrace each other in appreciation.

Let us take a moment to thank Him for everything and the birth of Jesus, our saviour. He is the great comedian, the great director, the angel in our hearts. Let us also be careful and concerned about the environment that surrounds us; learn how to protect mother Earth and always be ready to reach out a hand to anyone in need. Let our soul shine! Let our hearts be filled with nothing but sheer goodness and the occasional nasi lemak.

May the Lord continue to bless each and every friend & stranger that drops by. You deserve nothing less. Let's all think of the less fortunate people as we usher the dawn of a new year. There are still many challenges ahead and we pray for wisdom to face these tasks, we ask for courage to hold the truth up high.

Amen.

fRm thom y.

2007-12-16T15:09:00.000+08:00

Looks like Thom Yorke isn't away on holidays just yet. I've received this transmission just a few hours ago on a bunch of remixes of 'the eraser' being available soon via www.boomkat.com
__________________________________________________

please excuse this addiTion to YouR pile of email.

ThIs is not stricTly junk.

this
is a quick notE to Let YoU know thAT there will be shorttlY be a bunch of rmxs
of some of the songs from the ERAser album made available to download from boomkat.com.

on the 17th of Dec a BURIAL rmx of anditrainedallNight
a ModeSeleKtOR rmx of skipdivideD
& a VAriouS rmx of aNaLYse

on the 18th of Dec a FoURtet rmx of AtoMS for PEace
& two Christian Vogel rmxs of 'Black sWAn'

on the 19th of Dec the SuRGEon rmx of the CLock
a rmx of HarrOWdown HiLL by THE buG
& a rmx of Cymbal RUsh by The FIEld

that's it. apoloGIes for the disturbanCE. check themm out if you get amoment.

i Hope yours is a pEaceful CHRistmas.

>

thom yorke.

Kuala Lumpur snapshots.

2007-12-14T02:34:00.000+08:00

Dark skies loomed everywhere I went in the nation's capital. Almost more than half of the time was spent watching the neon lights and lethargic emo kids running towards the latest gadget shop for cheap year-end bargains. The food was expectedly tasteless and some are shamelessly labeled, 'Penang Famous...'. I felt aggravated and disengaged from reality and this almost happens every single time I visit Kuala Lumpur.

I had my thoughts on what was advised to me just roughly a year ago by this old chap. He said, "Most islanders never find Kuala Lumpur attractive. Penang, for lack of a better term, a safe haven. And the island's a great place to grow up and to retire...but not in between." Up till now, as Christmas Day beckons around the corner, I'm still searching for answers; where should I actually be to build my career?

Here are some snapshots taken from the city. Quite generic but then again one should ask, "Were you truly happy in KL, mate?"

Yeah but no but yeah...(Carl Cox in KL)

2007-11-28T11:54:00.000+08:00

Carl Cox is slated to spin for Red Sessions at Zouk KL.

Packing up my bags for the dance event of the year this 7th December 2007. I'll try to snap pictures while I'm in the capital city.

Update (1 Dec 2007): This might not happen. I have last minute appointments to meet and there's just no time to travel all the way down to the city.

Update (3 Dec 2007): Fickle-minded. Think I'm going to personally green light this.

They can't stop us all.

2007-11-26T03:31:00.000+08:00

Just had to link this. It's too elaborate to not share with fellow blog visitors.

Just when you thought that was all.

2007-11-07T10:29:00.000+08:00

XL Recordings have been nominated the exclusive rights to distribute the latest Radiohead album. So, what's Parlophone got up their sleeves? Well, radioheadstore rides the bandwagon following the success of 'In Rainbows' by launching a discography boxed set and invites hardcore fans to purchase the physical copy consisting of all 7 previous albums (under Parlophone) remastered and repackaged. There are also digital copies available but do not expect the similar emphasis on "name your price" practiced by the band during the worldwide digital release for 'In Rainbows'. Parlophone has also taken the current 'new marketing strategy' trend by making the albums available through a 4GB USB stick too.

Limited edition boxed set will be priced at GBP 39.99. DRM-free, 320 kbps digital download at GBP 34.99. The USB drive (based on the Kid A/Amnesiac killer bear logo) will be tagged at GBP 79.99.

Oh but Thom sounds happy with it.

2007-10-15T20:05:00.001+08:00

It came with no alarms. No pre-release Internet leaks. Straight up. Click. There. My hard copy of Radiohead's 'In Rainbows' already pre-ordered.

I've not read blog entries in detail of how Thom and Co. were going to execute this album. I've not even bothered to be a url stalker; crawling into the crevices of Radiohead fansites and scouring for live renditions of upcoming studio songs. But after listening to the new album myself by digitally downloading it for merely a few pounds, I understand all the hype now.

Let's not study about how the band is marketing this seminal piece of work but how they have approached it with juvenile zest. In my humble opinion, fans out there who paid nothing for it are gearing up for the big release of the USD$80.00 hard copy.

Ever thought how Radiohead would sound like the day Thom Yorke feels pink all of a sudden? Well once you've got hands on the brand new album and you more or less have a picture of how brilliant this Oxford-based band can be, whatever the mood they're in! After years of interesting, desolate and sad bastard music, it's pure business sense that Radiohead ventures back into what made them a rock giant in the first place - guitars, layers and layers and layers of atmospheric noise and Thom's nonchalance.

Radiohead blends in all the necessary ingredients but executes a different formula from 'The Bends', 'OK Computer' and 'Kid A/Amnesiac'. Almost instantly recognizable, the drum loops and now-customary loops engage the listener to an all too familiar landscape of Radioheadland. But wait! Enter Thom Yorke; juggling rhymes and murmuring just like he used to but this time with a warm and chirpy grace.

It took me exactly five listens to fully appreciate Radiohead's new outing 'In Rainbows' in its digital format which clocks just over 42 minutes in its entirety. Maybe it's because I didn't get much feel of it; no liner notes to read, no Stanley Donwood art to drool over. How many take did it take you to dig this one? My favourite tracks right now would be 'All I Need' and 'House of Cards' but I can see the whole album being hot on my playlist this whole month.

Has Thommie found inner peace? Has Jonny got the fringes of his hair cropped? Ed's background vocals sound so much crispier compared to 'Kid A'. So many wonderful questions and remarks to make to compliment this meticulous production. Kudos to Phil Selway for his outstanding drumming in this album too.

Here are a few standout tracks from 'In Rainbows' but I'm just fooling myself because every song screams of nonchalance, telling the listener to just shut up and feel the new spawn of Radiohead. Many indie bands have shown mantle but none have been so exceptionally detail and managed to build-up their credibility album after album like Radiohead has.

01 - Radiohead - ~~15 Step~~
02 - Radiohead - ~~Bodysnatchers~~
04 - Radiohead - ~~Weird Fishes/Arpeggi~~
08 - Radiohead - ~~House Of Cards~~
09 - Radiohead - ~~Jigsaw Falling Into Place~~
10 - Radiohead - ~~Videotape~~

In unison with some fellow bloggers who've purchased this album through their official website or leeched/thieved it from torrent sites, I just won't call this an instant classic just yet. However, it's heartwarming to know that Radiohead haven't lost touch with the way they present themselves. Their cross-fusion between electronics and acoustics coupled with layer-by-layer of industrial goodness do not fail them.

Made-to-orders should be out early December! Can't wait!

__________________________________________________

UPDATE (12 Dec 2007):

Songs from the 2nd disc are listed as follows:
1. Radiohead - MK1 (1:04)
2. Radiohead - Down Is The New Up (4:59)
3. Radiohead - Go Slowly (3:48)
4. Radiohead - MK2 (0:53)
5. Radiohead - Last Flowers (4:26)
6. Radiohead - Up On The Ladder (4:17)
7. Radiohead - Bangers & Mash (3:19)
8. Radiohead - 4 Minute Warning (4:06)

MP3s from the 2nd disc of 'In Rainbows' can be downloaded (for a limited time only) in zipped format by clicking on these two mirror links.

Download 'In Rainbows' CD2 via: ~~zshare~~ | ~~rapidshare~~

1110.

2007-10-11T00:01:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday to my dearest Mo!

Deep inside I wish you'd stop trying to find perfection in this chaotic world. You will always be known as the girl who'll never stop the search for the perfect pair of earrings. You are beautiful to me even without having to try.

Although you have broken my heart a million times before, I continue to hope...wondering if the word 'glimmer' actually means something in real life. The moments of sheer madness that we share are all due to the fact that you subconsciously continue the search for the fountain of youth.

Screw the past, kiss the future, Mo.

An opera great dies.

2007-09-06T19:23:00.000+08:00

Music: Passengers (feat Luciano Pavarotti) - ~~Miss Sarajevo~~ (click to download)

I don't speak Italian. I didn't know much about the man except the fact that a lot of great musicians liked to work with him. But I'll say this, you had a wonderful voice, Mr. Pavarotti. Ever since you worked with Brian Eno and Bono in Passengers, I kept listening to your song as though it was a prayer.

Dying after so many years keeping the torch burning for opera music, you certainly did not die in vain.

Pavarotti's tombstone will read 'October 12, 1935 – September 6, 2007'.

Thank you and may the Lord be with you.

Out and about in Singapore.

2007-08-06T02:47:00.000+08:00

Here are some shots taken during my week long trip in Singapore; after a sentimental farewell to lost causes and a pleasant welcome to new dreams and hopes.

'Identify That Trailer Music!' - Vol. 2

2007-07-29T04:55:00.000+08:00

They say good things happen to those who wait.

I've always preferred films released in autumn. As Hollywood continue to phase out this year's summer films, we're enticed with a huge amount of trailers available for upcoming release for autumn right up till winter. And once again, film producers and directors have made music in film an essential part of their promotional footage. I've browsed through a jaw-dropping amount of trailers available online and made some of the tunes available here for a limited period only for your listening pleasure.

1) The Invasion (starring Nicole Kidman, Daniel Craig) / Genre: sci-fi thriller
- Trailer features a track from Sigur Ros - ~~Untitled 8 (Popplagiö, The Pop Song)~~.

2) Feast of Love (starring Morgan Freeman, Radha Mitchell, Greg Kinnear, Selma Blair / Genre: drama
- Starring an all-star cast! Midway through the trailer, Air Traffic - ~~Just Abuse Me~~ is played in the background.

3) Dans Paris (starring Romain Duris and Louis Garrel) / Genre: drama
- Midway through the trailer, Canadian band Metric's 'Handshakes' takes a bow.

4) The Jane Austen Book Club (starring Hugh Dancy, Maria Bello, Emily Blunt, Amy Brenneman) / Genre: drama
- For the literary enthusiasts who tend to emulate their lives as per their favourite author...at the end of the trailer, we hear the soulful voice of Paolo Nutini singing his hit single '~~New Shoes~~'.

5) Introducing The Dwights a.k.a Clubland (starring Brenda Blethyn) / Genre: comedy drama
- A fine piece of Australian film finally bought Stateside! At the beginning of the trailer, we have background music from French band Phoenix with '~~Consolation Prizes~~'.

6) Margot At The Wedding (starring Nicole Kidman, Jack Black) / Genre: drama
- Granted this being a more serious role, with Jack Black amongst the cast, this is bound to be a fun-filled movie with gags aplenty. The trailer features Phantom Planet covering Crosby, Stills & Nash's '~~Our House~~' and Blondie's '~~Sunday Girl~~' at the end of the trailer.

7) The Heartbreak Kid (starring Ben Stiller, Malin Akerman, Michelle Monaghan) / Genre: rom-com
- Aahhh...good ol' funnyman Ben Stiller in a Farrelly Brothers' production, a remake of the original movie with the same name. The trailer for this contains several retro hits such as Supertramp's 'Give A Little Bit', Electric Light Orchestra's '~~Don't Bring Me Down~~', Spice Girls' 'Wannabe', Miami Sound Machine's 'Conga' and the arguably, all-time classic midi favourite (and for Moog fans in Malaysia who caught the 'TV Pendidikan: Form 3 English' series in the afternoon back in the 1980s) Hot Butter's '~~Popcorn~~'.

Being alone isn't so bad.

2007-07-28T21:46:00.001+08:00

You know what? Being alone in this world can be a nice thing. That's of course if you are content and thrilled by the fact that the Lord is watching over you. Falling out of relationships can be a drag but there's nothing more serious than being manipulated or being told white lies every now and then, isn't it?

The key ingredient to staying alive post-relationships is to ignore the happy moments spent together. Actually not thinking about the past at all really helps to ease the transition. I'm glad that I took control over my emotions when it mattered. I know it's going to be tough but I thank God for not forsaking me. Oh Lord, show me how to love like You; to love others and love myself.

Happy to be single and focused again.

Petey, don't leave!

2007-07-21T18:55:00.000+08:00

Music: New Order - ~~Vicious Streak~~ (click to download)

Whenever I am asked who was my preference for best bassist in the late 80s, I am split between 'cigarette-smoking' Adam Clayton of U2 and 'band-gangster' Peter Hook of Joy Division/New Order. As it was the '80s, you couldn't really tell if Peter was the backup, as most bassists tend to be, or the lead; the show man. He is often caught on camera with his sleeves rolled up and pacing around the mainstage (imagine Edge doing that all the time and Bono just singing with the mic). An indication that he wants to be known as the working class guitarist?

I was born in the new wave era so Peter Hook held a fond place in my heart. At a very early age, through the likes of songs like 'Blue Monday', 'Bizzard Love Triangle' and the quintessenial Joy Division track 'She's Lost Control', Peter Hook amazed me with his coolness and panache onstage; much alike Adam Clayton which I suspect secretly watches Peter Hook's live performances every now and then.

I was left in tatters today after reading news that Peter has imminently left the band and suggested that New Order has been disbanded. It hurts whenever you find out a brilliant musician decides to call it quits for such a genre-challenging band such as New Order. It is not a matter of quitting while you're on top because New Order is vibrant enough to defy classification and develop new sounds whenever they have new album projects. I can only pray that Bernard Sumner manages to reconcile withstanding matters with Peter Hook because I seriously doubt anyone can fill in his shoes.

In appreciation of Peter Hook, I've uploaded a clip from New Order's show in Finsbury Park on the 9th of June, 2002. Try and guess what this one's called...

-------------------------------------------------------

On a side note, renowned photographer/music video director, Anton Corbijn soothed the wounds with his supposedly excellent depiction of Joy Division's lead singer, the late Ian Curtis with the film 'Control' which should be out later this year.

Sam Phillips, revisited.

2007-07-20T22:53:00.000+08:00

Hey, remember that German assassin chick in Die Hard III? That foxy, cold lady with bad helicopter piloting skills. Yeah, turns out Sam Phillips sings very well though.

I just realised that I missed out on her active career in music. I have fallen head over heels for Sam's very husky voice and nostalgic '60s Beatles-esque songwriting. Starting her career (under her real name Leslie Ann Phillips), she has, in a short span of four years released over four LPs (Beyond Saturday Night, Dancing with Danger, Black and White in a Grey World, The Turning) and a 'best of' album (Recollection). After changing her stage name to Sam Phillips and with the help of talented husband, T-Bone Burnett (yeah think Counting Crows, people!) has spawned over seven albums! In addition to that, she actively participates in collaborating with various musicians and film directors ranging from Bruce Cockburn, The Wallflowers, Bernardo Bertolucci and Wim Wenders! Talk about heavyweight...

Her alliance with Nonesuch Records has so far generated only 1 album, 'a boot and a shoe' but as a Grammy-nominated songwriter-musician, we should come to expect more releases in the near future from Sam. Unfortunately, one may be disappointed to find out that her last outing is now 3 years old and she hardly whispers of a new album on her website. While we wait, sample some very sweet tracks on her official site.

Blending folk and sensuality in her music, she makes me wonder what it would be like dating a female musician.

Hi! This is Tempered Mental.

2007-07-13T23:35:00.000+08:00

In a nation that's for years filled with bands that lean towards experimental rock, it is not a surprise to find myself lacking in interest when it comes to being convinced to listen to local indie bands. An e-mail from a local music insider did not budge me a single bit I thought I'd give the idea 'Malaysian indie music' a go since I haven't been dwelling on it for the past few years.

A few track samples were sent to NTSOCIALISM to digest and review. The band in account, Tempered Mental, is a Malaysian band that shows genuine promise; filled to the brim with raw, quaint and profound songwriting (which so often reminds me of the progressive rock scene in the early '90s) and tight-knit showmanship from instrumentalists Jimmy, Melina and Jack. In an obvious attempt to branch out and improve from how they started on their previous EP (which is a good thing), their debut album was produced by the trio themselves with rock music maestro Greg Henderson, who has previously worked with other Malaysian rock acts like Seven Collar T-Shirt and Popshuvit.

After years of touring around South East Asia, their rock solid reputation as one of Malaysia's best musical exports have come into fruition. The long-awaited debut album, 'The View From Here', dubbed as a true gem and a worthy representative of the nation's alternative rock movement, was released on the 4th of July 2007. At first listen, one notices the melodic reference and nods to former greats The Smashing Pumpkins and Soundgarden. Melina, being a graduate from the International College of Music, writes in such a way that deters the band from being rated as 'second rate poseurs' or 'rock wannabes' in her own distinct style.

To kickstart one's experience with the band, tracks like 'Recall', 'Nothingness' and 'Open' give new listeners a chance to grasp how much potential this band obviously has. There's limitless potential for the band to release something grand in the near future. Tempered Mental is a work in progress and by that I mean they've got the freshest take on the local music scene at the moment.

Tracklisting for 'The View From Here' is as follows. Click on the available links to download the particular track in full length.

01. Space
02. Design (first single)
03. Recall
04. Cold
05. Open
06. Undone
07. Simple
08. Nothingness
09. Superstar
10. Cross

The Smashing Pumpkins @ Live Earth.

2007-07-10T20:23:00.000+08:00

Some videos of The Smashing Pumpkins performing in New York for Live Earth 2007 are being broadcasted on the MSN site here. As each band is allowed approximately 20 minutes to perform, Billy Corgan and Co. managed to only squeeze in classics like 'Today' and 'Bullet with Butterfly Wings' and new songs off their latest album, Zeitgeist - 'Tarantula' and 'United States' into their set.

Go and check them out! You know you want to...

'Silent Youths' gig.

2007-07-09T02:44:00.000+08:00

Some snaps taken during the small and intimate gig held in Wisma Oh, Penang with performances from local bands Firefly, Ocean of Fire, Flying Object Is Magic! (from Taiping, Perak), Coma, Damn Dirty Apes, He Libra (from Ipoh, Perak) and Whitelight. Click on the images to view them in higher resolution.

Pictorial: DJ Blastique at Momo Penang.

2007-07-06T05:00:00.000+08:00

DJ Blastique dropped by Penang to wreck a havoc amongst Penang clubbers. Here are some pictures taken this morning. Excellent party, lively company. Thanks for droppin' by Blastique!

The Smashing Pumpkins' 'Tarantula' video.

2007-07-02T22:57:00.000+08:00

Welcome back Billy & Co.!

UPDATE (5 July 2007):

Hmm...what's Paris Hilton doing on the single's cover though?

Cult mammoth!: 'Transformers'.

2007-06-29T19:40:00.001+08:00

Music: Smashing Pumpkins - ~~Doomsday Clock~~ / Goo Goo Dolls - ~~Before It's Too Late~~ (click to download; Goo Goo Dolls track was uploaded for those who already have advanced copies of the Pumpkins' 'Zeitgeist'.)

I will present a short entry on the 'Transformers' movie I had the opportunity to watch last night with my mates. There will be no spoilers as I believe everyone should pay their pennies worth to see what the fuss is all about. But DO NOT get me started on Megan Fox!

'Transformers' was literally more than meets the eye. Hands down, it has artistically taken the whole CGI-generated graphics up to another level. The complexity of the designs left me astounded as you will see bits and pieces of every metal part of the robots designed and elaborated in detail. In several moving battle scenes, you may need to concentrate in order for you to know who's in the duel.

The film had a notably engaging cast with Shia Le Beouf, Anthony Anderson, Rachael Taylor (due to appear in the US remake of 'Shutter') and John Turturro executing their sometimes comedic lines perfectly. Let us not forget to mention dear ol' Bumblebee, who, without its own voice barring till the end of the movie, had to use old film dialogues, radio monologues and retro music (from James Brown, Marvin Gaye, Hall & Oates and The Cars) to communicate with the Earthlings. No, I still WON'T comment on Megan Fox. The tone used in several dialogues in the film were reminiscent of the olden cartoon days when robots and their human counterparts weren't as serious as one would perceive they'd be in the 21st century.

It is hard not to be critical of Michael Bay's work in 'Transformers' although he has left many fans utterly amazed by the way he, with the help of Industrial Light & Magic, has constructed such a wonderful film and gone beyond the ordinary by literally micro-managing the robots featured in the film. I believe the time isn't right for a prequel, as suggested in the 'Transformers' paperback book for the film. Plenty of polishing to be done with the CGI-work but it should be gratefully acknowledged that 'Transformers' will remain one of the greatest forms of cartoon/cult comic film adaptations to date. 'Transformers' wasn't necessarily loyal (I thought all the robots wanted were 'energon cubes'?) but one would conceive that change was for the better.

As the film premieres worldwide, we have already been aroused from talks for TWO sequels with appearances from Soundwave and Unicron. Hey, where are the Dinobots and Constructicons?!

There isn't a reason in the world for you to avoid this film. It irresistibly will devour the world cinema market without a hesitation with its strong pace and surrealism of finally being able to see our childhood heroes come to life. I'd watch it a dozen times if the tickets weren't so costly.

And just why won't I comment on Megan Fox?! Because in the movie, she is HOTNESS personified! Let's not overhype a budding actress so that she'll take on diversified roles in the future!

Ok, rest of the world, transform and roll out!

PS: Mr. Peter Cullen, thank you for coming back!

Pivotal moments.

2007-06-28T08:30:00.000+08:00

Music: Various Artists (for BBC Children in Need) - ~~Perfect Day '97~~ (click to download)

Decisions. Decisions. Consequences.

Sometimes in life you make choices even when you know it isn't what your heart wants. You make sacrifices in hopes that you've made the correct decision there and then. I've got this strong hunch that things are going to turn around for the better now, even though hunches are rarely correct. This week will be important for various reasons. I've been disciplined in my daily prayers and I hope God will help me seek some answers for what the future holds after making one of those bold, drastic decisions in regards to my livelihood.

For the readers out there who've taken a bold decision in their lives and praying each day, that is the right thing to do. Let me get Lou Reed and Co. to soothe the savage beast in you.

Don't worry...this one's posted on another server. My sincere apologies for the unavailability of several tracks on the blog.

Transformers tonight at 9:30pm!

This. Year's. Worst. Album. Cover. Ever?

2007-06-25T14:19:00.000+08:00

Music: Interpol - ~~Rest My Chemistry~~ (click to download)

*NOTE: This entry bears no representation of the musical quality the band Interpol possess. Album artwork aside, Interpol definitely notches up a spot to claim best indie-rock album of the fortnight with their new album, 'Our Love To Admire'.

I cannot understand why would a major label indie band create controversy by depicting waxed African wildlife in their predatory positions. I mean you are targeting this album to teenagers and college kids aren't you?

Look! It's the new Scorpions album cover! How lame!

I don't know. They really should have stuck with the concept art featured a few weeks ago on their website. Interpol's album cover of 'Our Love To Admire' is just tasteless to me. If anyone of you wants to argue about this on the grounds of carnivorous sexual instincts (Look Ma! Them hands!), you can go fly a kite because I've personally never seen a lion and a lioness huddle over a stag before...not this way...suggestions of bi-sexuality...and I have been known to watch a lot of Discovery Channel stuff in my spare time.

And what's with the band's name and album title on the upper-left corner. Isn't that text-placement format patented by Travis? Hmm...

Malaysians: First to catch 'Transformers'!

2007-06-22T20:30:00.000+08:00

I caught an article on today's The Star newspaper and it was highlighted that Michael Bay, the director of the upcoming 'Transformers' movie is not a fan of the original cartoon series. My theory is that he is playing it safe by suggesting that because, after all, Megatron as a fighter jet and dorky Bumblebee as a sporty Chevy Camaro doesn't fit well into the minds of twenty to thirty year olds who will be catching their favourite 5 pm cartoon in real live action this coming July. My intuition is telling me that IF the film becomes a successful franchise, he will then revoke that particular remark and embrace the love and kisses from many TF fanboys out there. Good lesson in politics, Mike!

Malaysians will enjoy a head start with our cinemas playing 'Transformers' on the 28th of June 2007. Tickets are now available at your local GSC cinema. And guess what...

...my crew and I will be the very first few to catch 'Transformers' next Thursday!

The life of a freight forwarder and carrier representative.

2007-06-18T16:30:00.000+08:00

Music: The Bird and The Bee - ~~Again and Again~~ (click to download) (thanks Kim from Cheras, Kuala Lumpur!)

This was published in a cargo forum website that I often visit for resources. Seriously funny stuff for people who know the freight lingo!

Dear Shipper/Buyer/Purchaser/Procurement Manager,

We are capable of calculating quotations for three major projects, making booking for 5 different shipments and answering 12 totally unnecessary calls per hour, all simultaneously. We do not require sleep and are at your service 25 hours a day, 8 days a week. Our home numbers are your numbers.

We are responsible for YOUR production delays, traffic jams, mechanical problems with trucks, aircraft and ships and depressed economic conditions overall. We are totally responsible for any lost or damaged freight and will personally replace it upon request.

We have powers which allow us to add unlimited weight and volume to and upon an already overloaded truck. We create miracles by loading unlimited weight and volume into airline/ sea freight containers. Further more, we can always motivate drivers to be your free-of-charge temporary employees to help with loading and unloading.

Yesterday's delivery requirements with cargo loading today are regularly completed the day before yesterday, ten times a day, every day. We know that when you order a truck for loading on Monday that you really needed it on Saturday, but that you only want the overnight load delivered the following Wednesday. You want us to be at the office on weekends & public holidays to unload your goods at the ungodly hours of 0200 hours to ensure that your operation gets up and running a few hours after.

We are always friendly with a smile, have mastered telepathy, show empathy and gladly act as our customers' psychiatrists. We embrace the challenge when you cancel the space with the airline and one hour later expect the airline to hold the space for you just in case you require the capacity again, and do this daily.

We embrace the opportunity that you allow us to develop our negotiation skills with airline staff in securing capacity on already overbooked flight and allowing us to freely negotiate a cheap spot rate for the freight as well.

We speak all languages and know the location of even the smallest town anywhere in the world. Some of us have even mastered the slang and accent of a particular country!

We are able to obtain a freight rate inclusive of clearance and door delivery to the strangest of places at a moment's notice. At your request we can comply with any and all additional requirements your company may have. We also repair vehicles and computers.

For undisturbed road traffic, we have clocked our vehicles and if that does not resolve a traffic jam, we are capable of freeing the roads of traffic, upon request, in order to meet cutoffs.

Naturally, payment of our invoices is optional, and if your company has financial difficulties we will gladly advance unlimited funds for as long as you require them.

Our lives have been enriched by the endless opportunities that you have allowed us to experience.

Sincerely,
Your Eternally Grateful Freight Forwarder

__________________________________________________________

...and this somewhat similar one's penned by a German bloke as an ode to freight forwarders around the world!

Dear Freight Forwarder,

We are capable of calculating quotations for 20 different bookings to 5 different destinations and answering your calls about where your shipment is, all simultaneously.

We do not require sleep and are at your service 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Our mobile numbers are your direct line, don't worry about the time.

We are responsible for customs problems, strikes, mechanical problems with trucks and aircraft, and any other problem.

We have powers which allow us to add unlimited weight and volume to a CR1 . We create miracles by loading your shipment, for which you gave us no correct dimensions or weight on any aircraft.

Furthermore, we can always motivate our Handling Agent to be your servant, accepting shipments after LAT, deliver the shipment 10mins after ATA and rebuild your pre-build pallets within 5mins. Contours we gave you are just recommendations.

We know that when you book a slot, that you'll bring the freight 10mins before STD, but you insist on flown as booked. Booked dimensions and weight might vary, +-5m +-5t. Don't worry, we'll manage! AWB and FWB Data don't match? No worries, we'll find out data required by CBP and will amend the AWB data, free of charge of course!

You want us to be at the office on weekends & public holidays to deliver your goods at 2am to ensure your truck returns back in time for your normal deliveries.

We are always friendly with a smile, have mastered telepathy, show empathy, and gladly act as our customer's psychiatrists. We oblige and often become the scapegoat too with your requests for explanations forwarded, dealing with your customers rage and impatience.

We embrace the challenge when you cancel the blocked space with us and one hour later expect us to block twice the volume for you just in case you require the capacity.

We leave a blind eye for most volume shipments that require you to cut-off dimensions on the AWB to reduce calculation when cargo's m3 needs to be applied. This ensures you can quote lower than usual to your customers and still make away with a significant profit. This is, of course, dependant on your relationship and negotiation skills with the ground handler.

We embrace the opportunity that you allow us to develop our rate negotiation skills but do you think all airline staff can live on rice and soja sauce? If you don't book before delivering the shipment we gladly just take the rate and flight you put on the AWB. We can do it and don't deserve more money for it.

We speak all languages and know the location of even the smallest town anywhere in the world. We are able to obtain a competitive freight rate, inclusive trucking, overnight custom clearance, straight delivery to any point of the world...

We're just happy to arrange a charte on Sunday for Monday. We can even provide your flight attendants kosher food and catering same day without prior notice.

Naturally, payment of our invoice is optional and if you doubt the chargeable weight, we will gladly just charge you the kilos you put on the AWB.

Our lives have been enriched by the endless opportunities that you have allowed us to experience.

Yours Sincerely,
Your Eternally Grateful Airliner

To what's been a hectic work week.

2007-06-16T15:26:00.000+08:00

Music: Valentino Kanzyani's set (I Love Techno, 21 Oct, 2006)

Kanzyani is probably the hottest stuff to hit the techno-genre radar since Adam Beyer a few years back. Slovenia should be proud having talent in their ranks.

I've been through a hectic work week; spending late nights calling up my American and Canadian counterparts on a few business issues. I think the most hours of sleep I've gotten for the past 3 nights accumulates to only 6 hours (hey I was dealing with Vancouver and Los Angeles for cryin' out loud!). Certainly didn't mind the lack of sleep because I'm passionate about getting the numbers in and solving my client's problems. After three slow months, I'm beginning to see business developing so that's a good start. Called in sick today as I've caught the cold flu. Figured that it'd be of my best interests to take some time out from answering over 50 problematic emails in 3 days, not to mention my outdoor activities!

Further to note, I was happy to see an Indian friend of mine return from Finland and he's promised to share with the readers some great snapshots of a VERY wealthy country. Think 'Marlboro Country' - minus the cigarette smoking in bars and restaurants.

I owe myself a long overdue cardio session and some brand new music to share with you readers out there. Check the navigation bar on your right, as usual. Thanks for dropping by and have a blessed weekend y'all!

DJ Blastique at Momo Penang.

2007-06-14T21:18:00.000+08:00

Blastique's next...

Manic Street Preachers - Your Love Is Not Enough (feat. Nina Persson)

2007-06-10T17:27:00.000+08:00

You know I hardly post YouTube feeds these days but I couldn't help doing it for this particular track.

Manic Street Preachers with Nina Persson (of The Cardigans) - Your Love Is Not Enough

Sweetest summer tune (and music video) so far! The sweetness factor obviously influenced by the fact you have super-skön Swede, Nina Persson, providing secondary vocals for the song.

'Your Love Is Not Enough' is taken from the back-to-form album from The Manics' 'Send Away The Tigers'. Filled with guitar-driven grandiosity and honestly carved lyrics, the album reminds me a lot of their 'Everything Must Go' days.